Sunday, September 30, 2012

Captchas- where you can go.

Can we talk about the captcha? Or whatever the &%$+ they are?

You know, the the characters a site makes you type in so that you can make a comment on a blog? It says something cute by it to try and make it less obnoxious like, "to help prove you are not a robot?" Something like that. Well, I am not a robot, I'm pretty sure, and it took me 5 tries to complete a correct captcha this morning on one blog. FIVE.

The first three tries I was trying to type in the digits there and then realized they've added a graphic next to it now....a picture of a set of numbers too. Ooooohhhh......how artsy. I can't read them either!

I'd be better off as a robot.

And I hate the made up word captcha and it reminds me of GOTCHA!

I'm putting it on my words to never use list along with STAYCATION and WEBINAR.

That's where you are going.

That being said, I probably have captchas or whatever on  my blog too, because one time, I had creepy anonymous comments on my blog so I installed that.

This fact does not lessen my hate, it increases it. So there.

We should be scanning retinas. Yes. This is the modern world! Yes?




Monday, September 24, 2012

Just come on in

We're basking in the aftermath of sheer embarrassment.

Yesterday, we came home from camping. We unloaded TERRY, our trusty camper, with all it's dirty laundry and dishes, blankets and food, pillows and stuffed animals, garbage......you get it? I sorted piles on our living room floor to put away. Dirty dishes were piled in the sink. We needed groceries first so I could buy soap and laundry soap to tackle this mess. Sure, no prob. I picked up a billion dollars worth over Eli's nap.

When I got back and put most of the groceries away, started one load of laundry, and then Steve was rearing to go take TERRY back to his storage space while it was still light out. Yeah, sure. Fine. We can do that. I'll tackle this mess when we get back.

We went. We came back. There was a card on our table that an agent had just shown our house.

A strong wave of nausea came over me and I thought I might pass out.

I looked at our house.

I started crying.

We had no idea anyone was coming. Obviously there had been some miscommunication here. 

Look, I'm not perfect, but this was the epitome of all that was glaringly bad at one given moment, piled up in stacks. I'm not sure how they got in the door actually. I wonder what they thought of my bras hanging out to dry?

I called the number on the business card, "Um, were you just at .....?".

Yes, they were.

PUKE. OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH.

"Oh, my. I can't believe this. We had no idea anyone was coming. We just got back from camping and we emptied our camper, obviously directly inside the door and took the camper back and we came back and your card was here and we're SO INCREDIBLY mortified!!! Are you still with them? Can you please tell them? OH MY GOSH. Please please please apologize to them for this."

She said she knew something wasn't right.

Oh, really? How could you tell?!

Oh yeah, also, our giant yellow dog was in the back yard too. I'm sure they had a great time trying to see that. 

I'm going to crawl in a hole and never EVER EVVVVERRRR sell my house again.

BOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure there was a lesson in this. Go ahead, let me have it.

Have mercy.




Thursday, September 20, 2012

You can tell everybody

Girls, (I leave Eli out because I picture him not caring at all about any of this), I want to give you this:

Mom's song.

Olivia: YES. We had songs back then when I was born. Yes. Seriously. And markers. I also enjoyed markers as a child. They were also invented before I was a child contrary to your current belief.

Anyway, Elton John (google him)....sang once, "You can tell everybody, this was your song." So, here it is. I give it to you, because it's magical. And I don't know if it will still be around when you are bigger and able to choose your own music so I thought I'd tell you the story of this song and what it means to me.

This song has come to me several times over the radio when I'm dealing with something difficult, something I'm not sure I can handle. I swear I only hear it when I need to hear it, thus it's magical powers. It comes out of nowhere and swoops in to say just what it says: everything, EVERYTHING will be alright. And sometimes girls, for reasons I can't explain here but will explain to you someday to your adult ears, hearing that can help you make a choice that can change your life, that will change someone else's life, that will change everything.

Listen:

http://youtu.be/u-PrPpqi44M

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best, do everything you can
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright


Girls, don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say. Don't you worry. Just do your best. Do everything you can. Make the right choice despite what their bitter hearts might say.

That's what I need to hear, and you might too someday.

Don't google Elton. I was wrong on that. Love you.  

Monday, September 17, 2012

How I lost my Clorox endorsement

I just thoroughly disinfected this computer from the stomach flu bug that my husband suffered from this weekend.....ALL weekend long. Poor guy. It was quite horrible to watch, and if I were completely honest, it was quite horrible to think about getting. In fact, I had a few hours on Saturday night where I actually had myself and others convinced that I might be getting sick too. So I ate a few saltines and sat on the couch to watch football and made the girls do the dishes and BAM! Miraculously, cured.

I have PTSD from being pregnant with Eli. It didn't go well, see. So, now, whenever I have an inkling that I might be a bit, sort of nauseous, a little, I start sweating. I feel panicky. I look around the room for a way out but then I know I can't leave. Look at all these kids who need me! Flash back to lying on the bottom of the shower floor and wretching my guts out for months and months on gutwrenching month on end, the room spins, the room is spinninggggggg....PTSD. I wasn't lying.

Anyway, I'm totally fine now.

Infection wise.

Which is why I'm writing on this now sticky computer. Because you can never be too careful. But now that I'm experiencing this sticky computer for the second day in a row I'm realizing, I don't think Clorox wipes were made for electronics.....

Steve is better today and probably going to go to work, which is great for him and for me, well, I'm going to work today too, but I'm exhausted! Talk about a busy weekend alone with the kids. Hold on a sec, my Dunkin Almond Coffee is done brewing.....smell it?

Trust me, it's amazing. Most things are greater in form with Rediwhip on them. Betcha didn't know.

Which brings me to my next topic. Weight loss.

I'm on a mission to lose 30 lbs for my 30th birthday. Obviously, not BEFORE my 30th birthday as this has already passed...but during my 30th year. This came about a few ways.

1. My stretchy jeans (already a bit of an embarrassment thigh wise) became not stretchy.
2. I felt bad. ALL the time.
3. My kids scoffed at my bad choices that I wouldn't let them have.
4. 30 for 30 seemed cute.

I'm not who I used to be and that's totally fine with me. If I were that skinny again, I wouldn't know what to do with myself, honestly. But I do want my stretchy jeans to fit again, And I do want to feel good again. And I do want to be a good example for my kids. Make the scoffing stop? And cuteness, well......

My cousin Brandy in AZ, someone I love and wish I could be friends with in person, directed me to livestrong.com, a website also a product of the Lance Armstrong foundation. You can specify man/woman. I chose woman. You can track your food. You can put in a goal. I put in 1 lb. a week. I figure this is doable. You can track your fitness. It adds up your calories. There is community. There are fitness and health articles. It is a wonderland if you ask me. It is F-R-E-E.

You know, I feel so good these last few weeks. You would have thought I were a new person altogether. I've gone above and beyond what the site has asked me to do because I feel good. I want to take care of myself. My kids are involved too. Example: if they won't stop bothering me about making cookies, then we have to go for a walk and a jog and play tag at the park for an hour to work out because mom will definitely eat a cookie and more than likely some dough. And we did. And I burned way more than I ate. And the point is that I planned it before I did it and it was accounted for and they helped me and we did it together.

I've got a feeling that this time will be different. That by 31, I'll be down 30 for sure...at least? We'll see.

Now if I get this stomach flu despite typing on this sticky computer, Clorox.....you know who I'm coming after. Don't mess with this worn out mom with PTSD who is trying to lose weight. DO NOT.

Thanks for being there for me in other ways though like your bleach spray that I use ALL THE TIME and the way your wipes smell lemony fresh! Love them!