You can tell everybody

Girls, (I leave Eli out because I picture him not caring at all about any of this), I want to give you this:

Mom's song.

Olivia: YES. We had songs back then when I was born. Yes. Seriously. And markers. I also enjoyed markers as a child. They were also invented before I was a child contrary to your current belief.

Anyway, Elton John (google him)....sang once, "You can tell everybody, this was your song." So, here it is. I give it to you, because it's magical. And I don't know if it will still be around when you are bigger and able to choose your own music so I thought I'd tell you the story of this song and what it means to me.

This song has come to me several times over the radio when I'm dealing with something difficult, something I'm not sure I can handle. I swear I only hear it when I need to hear it, thus it's magical powers. It comes out of nowhere and swoops in to say just what it says: everything, EVERYTHING will be alright. And sometimes girls, for reasons I can't explain here but will explain to you someday to your adult ears, hearing that can help you make a choice that can change your life, that will change someone else's life, that will change everything.

Listen:

http://youtu.be/u-PrPpqi44M

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best, do everything you can
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Girls, don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say. Don't you worry. Just do your best. Do everything you can. Make the right choice despite what their bitter hearts might say.

That's what I need to hear, and you might too someday.

Don't google Elton. I was wrong on that. Love you.  

How I lost my Clorox endorsement

I just thoroughly disinfected this computer from the stomach flu bug that my husband suffered from this weekend.....ALL weekend long. Poor guy. It was quite horrible to watch, and if I were completely honest, it was quite horrible to think about getting. In fact, I had a few hours on Saturday night where I actually had myself and others convinced that I might be getting sick too. So I ate a few saltines and sat on the couch to watch football and made the girls do the dishes and BAM! Miraculously, cured.

I have PTSD from being pregnant with Eli. It didn't go well, see. So, now, whenever I have an inkling that I might be a bit, sort of nauseous, a little, I start sweating. I feel panicky. I look around the room for a way out but then I know I can't leave. Look at all these kids who need me! Flash back to lying on the bottom of the shower floor and wretching my guts out for months and months on gutwrenching month on end, the room spins, the room is spinninggggggg....PTSD. I wasn't lying.

Anyway, I'm totally fine now.

Infection wise.

Which is why I'm writing on this now sticky computer. Because you can never be too careful. But now that I'm experiencing this sticky computer for the second day in a row I'm realizing, I don't think Clorox wipes were made for electronics.....

Steve is better today and probably going to go to work, which is great for him and for me, well, I'm going to work today too, but I'm exhausted! Talk about a busy weekend alone with the kids. Hold on a sec, my Dunkin Almond Coffee is done brewing.....smell it?

Trust me, it's amazing. Most things are greater in form with Rediwhip on them. Betcha didn't know.

Which brings me to my next topic. Weight loss.

I'm on a mission to lose 30 lbs for my 30th birthday. Obviously, not BEFORE my 30th birthday as this has already passed...but during my 30th year. This came about a few ways.

1. My stretchy jeans (already a bit of an embarrassment thigh wise) became not stretchy.
2. I felt bad. ALL the time.
3. My kids scoffed at my bad choices that I wouldn't let them have.
4. 30 for 30 seemed cute.

I'm not who I used to be and that's totally fine with me. If I were that skinny again, I wouldn't know what to do with myself, honestly. But I do want my stretchy jeans to fit again, And I do want to feel good again. And I do want to be a good example for my kids. Make the scoffing stop? And cuteness, well......

My cousin Brandy in AZ, someone I love and wish I could be friends with in person, directed me to livestrong.com, a website also a product of the Lance Armstrong foundation. You can specify man/woman. I chose woman. You can track your food. You can put in a goal. I put in 1 lb. a week. I figure this is doable. You can track your fitness. It adds up your calories. There is community. There are fitness and health articles. It is a wonderland if you ask me. It is F-R-E-E.

You know, I feel so good these last few weeks. You would have thought I were a new person altogether. I've gone above and beyond what the site has asked me to do because I feel good. I want to take care of myself. My kids are involved too. Example: if they won't stop bothering me about making cookies, then we have to go for a walk and a jog and play tag at the park for an hour to work out because mom will definitely eat a cookie and more than likely some dough. And we did. And I burned way more than I ate. And the point is that I planned it before I did it and it was accounted for and they helped me and we did it together.

I've got a feeling that this time will be different. That by 31, I'll be down 30 for sure...at least? We'll see.

Now if I get this stomach flu despite typing on this sticky computer, Clorox.....you know who I'm coming after. Don't mess with this worn out mom with PTSD who is trying to lose weight. DO NOT.

Thanks for being there for me in other ways though like your bleach spray that I use ALL THE TIME and the way your wipes smell lemony fresh! Love them!

To Steve: 10 years

Happy Anniversary! We have been married 10 years today! 10!

What can I say about the last 10 years? They were hard? First and foremost they were difficult. I feel like I'm still trying to catch my breath. But that put aside, I would not trade them. They were good to us. They were something to be proud of. Our household is overflowing with blessings! 3 kids. More than can fit comfortably on my lap. More than an armful. Filling up a van-ful. Laughter and tears and grocery bills. 

Seeing us now and comparing to where we came from. KNOWING that we did this? With God's help, we made it. We did what we set out to do when we decided to become a real family. This is what we chose. 

When I think of the next ten years, I'll admit, I'm a little nervous. Did you know that by then, Olivia will be in college and Sophie in her senior year? Eli will be an awkward 12 year old boy, ruling the house his sisters used to rule. Thinking himself a big deal when he visits them at college. Trying to hide his excitement when they come home to see him play football at homecoming.

Did you know how fast it would go? Did you know how fast 10 years would go? How fast it will go again? How different a world our eyes will see in ten more years?

What will we know then that we don't right now? I wonder what I would want to tell us about these upcoming times, these next ten years. I can only guess. I suppose I'd want to make sure we didn't forget. That we made it count. That we held on to each moment and saw it for what it was.That we continued to choose to make the most of each day. That we chose to camp and fish and bike ride and hike. That we chose to do the things our kids would remember happily.

Steve, you are a good man. You're a great father. You are the man I have chosen to love. You are the one I will keep working hard with to build the life we have dreamed of for us and for our kids. And for the next ten years? I suppose we're up to the challenge. I suppose that's what marriage is. A challenge to see if you can navigate the obstacles that life throws your way, keeping hands held tight, sticking together. We've got these babies for just a short time, Steve. And after that, I suppose there will be a lot of motorcycle riding, you and me. 

And I bet we'll have the money for that snowmobile. 

;) 

Love, 

Mel (Your OLD lady, of 10 years today.) I love ya, baby.