Have you ever noticed yourself doing the same stupid thing over and over again? Not intentionally or purposefully, but inadvertently....making the outcome even more annoying? You vow to never do it again, and then you plead with God to bail you out once again. And then it becomes almost embarrassing to even ask God for help anymore.
But should that be true? Of course not. (I love answering my own questions).
This morning I woke up in a panic. 3 flippin 30 in the a.m. I have to work at 7. This is poor news for me already, knowing that I'm terrible at getting back to sleep if it's less than 5 hours from the time I have a date with life. Why was I panicked? I wondered that too. So I had anxiety for a minute or two about why I was having anxiety. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. MONEY. BILLS. NEXT PAYCHECK.
But hadn't I covered this base? Hadn't I been so sure about my new budget and my savings and this and that? Hadn't I had the perfect 6 month plan to success paying off debt?
Leave it to me to vastly miscalculate something on a regular basis. Note: It's not a good idea to try and pay off more debt than what you have to pay off that debt. That's me. It's consistently me. CRAP.
So I found myself here again. Panic. Nervous. Pulling up the calculator on my computer and computing dates, times, exact amounts, checks, balances....etc. Then, as always, I realize....I have no choice but to trust in God. It doesn't sound hard to trust. After all, God has a perfect track record in my life. He has ALWAYS come through for me, even financially, when we were much much worse off than we are now (or could even imagine at this point), he has come through...he will.......right?
Why do I have so little faith? What will it take for me to ditch the initial panic?
Insert "morning" devotions. No, I do not do these on a daily basis. That would be cool though.
Anyway, here is what I found:
"Perhaps as you look at your own life, you feel as if you have no faith at all. I think of Mary Graham's words that faith is not about our mustering up huge reserves of mountain-moving power but about leaning on Christ, trusting our Father, and taking one more step. We start with what we have. We bring the tiniest seed of faith that God has placed in our spirits, and God honors that faith. If we spend our time looking at the mountain, we will be overwhelmed, so we nurture the seed that God has planted in us." -Sheila Walsh (Women of Faith)
"God has a marvelous way of selecting those of us who seem the unlikeliest to succeed or are the most miserable misfits and using us for his glory. Jesus has unlimited patience to forgive us for being stupid. Or mean. Or thoughtless. Or hurtful. When we confess our failures and ask him to forgive us, he does so gladly. And then he loves to see us use our second chances to correct our mistakes and get back on the Christlike path." -Thelma Wells
"You cannot trust without moving out of your head." -Nicole Johnson
I'd like to get out of italics writing now, but it's stuck this way. Sigh.
So, I'm going to choose to have faith today. And tomorrow. And I'm going to rest in the promise that God has for us that things are going to be ok. And I'm going to picture him doing these things gladly....God is the hero, and I am thankful for that.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Walks on the beach n stuff
Who doesn't love the backyard sprinkler?
ROSIE. She hid! The girls, however, loved it. I loved watching. There's something great about spending time in your own backyard.
Newly installed swings. The old ones were rusty. The new ones are YELLOW. Yesss...
Sisters
Bedtime babe
Sophie posed for this one herself. She's about 3 ft off the ground.
My main squeezes
Big Creek beach babies
Little swimmers. Ahh...summer.
ROSIE. She hid! The girls, however, loved it. I loved watching. There's something great about spending time in your own backyard.
Newly installed swings. The old ones were rusty. The new ones are YELLOW. Yesss...
Sisters
Bedtime babe
Sophie posed for this one herself. She's about 3 ft off the ground.
My main squeezes
Big Creek beach babies
Little swimmers. Ahh...summer.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Camp
So, we ventured out on our first camping trip of the year. As with every "first" of the year, there were a few things we'd do differently. One, I packed my camera, but couldn't find it later. Two, we needed a flipper for the steaks. Three: more than one air mattress for Steve and me. But, these things are of fairly small consequence.
On Friday, Steve came to the campsite over his lunch "hour" and helped us set up our new tent. Since getting married nearly seven years ago, we have doubled the size of our family and our kids have quadrupled their size, necessitating a new, much larger tenting facility. So, the girls and I ventured out for our last minute camping needs and we found a new tent that would meet our space requirements. Steve also had bought me a screen tent the year before for my birthday. That tent is perfect to put over your picnic table to keep out the bugs...IF....you can put it together.
On Friday, Steve and I successfully set up the tent about 2 minutes before it started to pour down rain from the heavens. And it didn't stop. It rained into most of the night on Friday. We went out to eat and visited Steve's sister in town. We visited another campsite where our friends were staying, more comfortably, in a camper. But we returned to our soggy abode later that night and slept like newborn babies. Not at all.
Saturday was much more pleasant! Mom brought me out a latte and a pumpkin muffie from Panera and we went to Polk City's city wide garage sale! This might not excite anyone but me, but we had a blast! At one particular garage sale, I found a ton of brand new, still in package, scrapbooking sets, stamps, and empty photo books. Score. At the next, we found a beautiful bed set, looking very brand new, for the girls. Steve gave me strict instructions not to buy other people's junk. (Like that is possible at a garage sale). Anyway, when he called me to tell me there was this turkey decoy, aka a fake bird on a stick that is supposed to lure live birds to it to face their certain death, I calmly reminded him that I was under strict orders not to buy other people's junk. Then I went and picked it up for him and put it in our front yard, laughing hysterically. Then I called him to see if he saw our gift in the front yard, and he said, "Yeah. I could hear you laughing down the street." Whatever. I was totally sneaky.
So, the garage saling was a hit. And I got to spend some good time with my girls and my mom, who is soon moving away to Iowa City again. Sniff....
In the afternoon, we cooked some kosher hot dogs on the grill (kosher is a must if you ask me ;) and savored every last bite until it was time to go boating on Dan & Amy's new boat. Lianna joined us too! It was really fun. The sun peeked out for us and Steve got to wake board and Mom got to watch in terror as her son attempted large mid air jumps behind the boat. We had a great time. The girls even got in to swim. I stuck my toe in the water and realized it was still about 49 degrees and decided I knew better.
Saturday night was perfect camping weather. Steve made a fabulous fire, we cooked steaks and potatoes on the grill, made smores, lit marshmellows on fire, rode bikes, and played hide and seek. Then we were exhausted and hit the air mattresses and slept like.....
newborn babies
again.
But that's what Sunday is for right? Napping off a no sleep weekend? Oh, and next time, I promise to take pictures.
This weekend reminded me a lot of weekends growing up. Dad and Mom would take us out camping too. We'd have to pick up sticks from the ground where our tent would go. We got special treats like rainbow drinks and pop tarts that were never in our house on any other occasion. We'd fish and hike and play rambo in the woods. We'd have fires and play night games like hide and seek. It was a time before cell phones. And after I left mine in someone's car this weekend, I was without cell phone too. After the initial panic subsided, I kind of liked it. Nothing to do but whatever we wanted to do. No calls to make or answer, and I realized, I didn't need anything that I didn't already have. Family was there. We were having a blast. And I can't wait to do it again.
On Friday, Steve came to the campsite over his lunch "hour" and helped us set up our new tent. Since getting married nearly seven years ago, we have doubled the size of our family and our kids have quadrupled their size, necessitating a new, much larger tenting facility. So, the girls and I ventured out for our last minute camping needs and we found a new tent that would meet our space requirements. Steve also had bought me a screen tent the year before for my birthday. That tent is perfect to put over your picnic table to keep out the bugs...IF....you can put it together.
On Friday, Steve and I successfully set up the tent about 2 minutes before it started to pour down rain from the heavens. And it didn't stop. It rained into most of the night on Friday. We went out to eat and visited Steve's sister in town. We visited another campsite where our friends were staying, more comfortably, in a camper. But we returned to our soggy abode later that night and slept like newborn babies. Not at all.
Saturday was much more pleasant! Mom brought me out a latte and a pumpkin muffie from Panera and we went to Polk City's city wide garage sale! This might not excite anyone but me, but we had a blast! At one particular garage sale, I found a ton of brand new, still in package, scrapbooking sets, stamps, and empty photo books. Score. At the next, we found a beautiful bed set, looking very brand new, for the girls. Steve gave me strict instructions not to buy other people's junk. (Like that is possible at a garage sale). Anyway, when he called me to tell me there was this turkey decoy, aka a fake bird on a stick that is supposed to lure live birds to it to face their certain death, I calmly reminded him that I was under strict orders not to buy other people's junk. Then I went and picked it up for him and put it in our front yard, laughing hysterically. Then I called him to see if he saw our gift in the front yard, and he said, "Yeah. I could hear you laughing down the street." Whatever. I was totally sneaky.
So, the garage saling was a hit. And I got to spend some good time with my girls and my mom, who is soon moving away to Iowa City again. Sniff....
In the afternoon, we cooked some kosher hot dogs on the grill (kosher is a must if you ask me ;) and savored every last bite until it was time to go boating on Dan & Amy's new boat. Lianna joined us too! It was really fun. The sun peeked out for us and Steve got to wake board and Mom got to watch in terror as her son attempted large mid air jumps behind the boat. We had a great time. The girls even got in to swim. I stuck my toe in the water and realized it was still about 49 degrees and decided I knew better.
Saturday night was perfect camping weather. Steve made a fabulous fire, we cooked steaks and potatoes on the grill, made smores, lit marshmellows on fire, rode bikes, and played hide and seek. Then we were exhausted and hit the air mattresses and slept like.....
newborn babies
again.
But that's what Sunday is for right? Napping off a no sleep weekend? Oh, and next time, I promise to take pictures.
This weekend reminded me a lot of weekends growing up. Dad and Mom would take us out camping too. We'd have to pick up sticks from the ground where our tent would go. We got special treats like rainbow drinks and pop tarts that were never in our house on any other occasion. We'd fish and hike and play rambo in the woods. We'd have fires and play night games like hide and seek. It was a time before cell phones. And after I left mine in someone's car this weekend, I was without cell phone too. After the initial panic subsided, I kind of liked it. Nothing to do but whatever we wanted to do. No calls to make or answer, and I realized, I didn't need anything that I didn't already have. Family was there. We were having a blast. And I can't wait to do it again.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Vanity
Tonight Steve and I brought the vanity in from the garage that Lianna and Shawn so graciously gave to us and Mom and Darrell so willingly transported for us. While Steve and I put it together, Olivia and Sophie had an excited conversation while standing over us. Here's how it went:
Olivia: We can put brushes and lipstick in here!
Sophie: I'm gonna put my pens and papers here for homework.
Olivia: That shelf will be for Barbies and rock star stuff.
Sophie: I'm going to put my papers in a stack on this side.
Olivia: We are going to be doing our hair and dressing up in front of this mirror, Mom! This rocks!
Sophie: Make sure you move your stuff so I have room to write and practice my letters....
Perhaps we have a slight contrast in personalities here? :)
Luckily, the vanity has equal sides, one for the pursuit of continuing education, the other for Bella Dancerella and her rock star stuff.
At any rate, I love my girls...as different as they might be.
Olivia: We can put brushes and lipstick in here!
Sophie: I'm gonna put my pens and papers here for homework.
Olivia: That shelf will be for Barbies and rock star stuff.
Sophie: I'm going to put my papers in a stack on this side.
Olivia: We are going to be doing our hair and dressing up in front of this mirror, Mom! This rocks!
Sophie: Make sure you move your stuff so I have room to write and practice my letters....
Perhaps we have a slight contrast in personalities here? :)
Luckily, the vanity has equal sides, one for the pursuit of continuing education, the other for Bella Dancerella and her rock star stuff.
At any rate, I love my girls...as different as they might be.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Appreciate
I appreciate this:
God
family...all of them
children
green grass
our home
our pup
flowers
blooming trees
summer mornings
summer evenings
camping
fishing
laying in the sun
sending gifts
writing notes
writing books
blogs
beaches
blankets
candles
canteloupe
naps
summer dresses
fans
books
pictures
coupons
laughing
walking
friends
swimming
running
thunderstorms
Just to name a few,
and sometimes we just have to
to try and get back to
the place our hearts belong...
gratefulness
God
family...all of them
children
green grass
our home
our pup
flowers
blooming trees
summer mornings
summer evenings
camping
fishing
laying in the sun
sending gifts
writing notes
writing books
blogs
beaches
blankets
candles
canteloupe
naps
summer dresses
fans
books
pictures
coupons
laughing
walking
friends
swimming
running
thunderstorms
Just to name a few,
and sometimes we just have to
to try and get back to
the place our hearts belong...
gratefulness
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Scolded
Today, I ran to the park pushing Sophie on her bike. Olivia just rode her bike (the way it's supposed to be). Then we sat down to have a snack in the shade before embarking on the ride back.
Steve and I snuck out late last night to have a campfire in the back yard. Sophie Lou Who came out and caught us having fun outside while she was in bed and was totally shocked and appalled. We got scolded. But then, Steve and I calmly explained how life is not fair.
Ha!
Don't be afraid to teach people you know valuable lessons such as these!
Chicago
Last weekend, my friend Amy and I made a road trip to Chicago to visit our friend Katie, a new resident of the city. Amy, a veteran of Chi-town, drove while I sat back and relaxed (between Amy's outbursts at the other drivers). Her dog Bella, was along for the ride. You can see Bella's happy face below.
On Friday, I wasn't feeling well so we didn't do much. Appetizers at Katies place, catching up, and then bed. But Saturday was our day. We started off by getting pastries at a little bakery down the road from Katie's house. Then we picked up Starbucks on our way to sit at the park, breakfast and lattes in hand. After breakfast, we ventured out onto a bus because the L was down (NOT my favorite part) to head downtown.
We boarded a boat for a downtown architectural boat tour. It was amazing. It lasted about an hour, and our tour guide highlighted each of the skyscrapers and what they're made of and why, how many stories, and what they are used for. Some of them are truly amazing, and I was surprised how many were built years and years ago. Impressive. After the boat tour, we took a stroll down to Millenium Park. There is a huge fountain area there with two large screens that scroll through people's faces. Katie told me they are citizens of the city. There were tons of kids playing happily in the water. There were several wedding parties under the bean. We tried to take a picture there, but were all horribly fat. If you don't know, it's a giant reflective thingy shaped like a bean. I don't know what happened to that picture.
After Millenium Park, we went shopping. This was one of my favorite parts. I was a first timer to H&M (THE best store ever), where the clothes are color coordinated, stylish, cheap, and fit like a dream!!! I bought a few things. Then we shopped for shoes at Nordstrom Rack. We also visited Charlotte Russe and I bought some earrings. After shopping, Katies fiance picked us up downtown and spared us from walking additional miles to get to Gino's, THE best pizza place ever. Chicago style. Although large and extremely deep dish, I was able to down one piece, and probably should've walked there to work off what I was eating. Hindsight.
That night, we got dressed up snazzy and went out on the town. I had plenty to drink turns out, but did just fine in the end. Nothing a little Ibuprofen/gatorade combo couldn't fix. Plus, when do the momma's REALLY get time out like this?
Sunday, we had breakfast at a diner down the street from Katie's. I had "Hangover Biscuits and Gravy". Fitting. Then Amy and I packed up and headed home. We had a great trip back over all. Minus a speeding ticket for 17 over. That couldn't be right....we were framed.
It was really fun to get away for a weekend and hang out in Chicago with friends. Plus, it just made me miss my family and I was super excited to see them when I got back! Here's to mini-vacay weekends!
Chicago...where sunglasses are forever appropriate
From left: Amy, floating head, Katie
Mel with new earrings and Amy Kate
On Friday, I wasn't feeling well so we didn't do much. Appetizers at Katies place, catching up, and then bed. But Saturday was our day. We started off by getting pastries at a little bakery down the road from Katie's house. Then we picked up Starbucks on our way to sit at the park, breakfast and lattes in hand. After breakfast, we ventured out onto a bus because the L was down (NOT my favorite part) to head downtown.
We boarded a boat for a downtown architectural boat tour. It was amazing. It lasted about an hour, and our tour guide highlighted each of the skyscrapers and what they're made of and why, how many stories, and what they are used for. Some of them are truly amazing, and I was surprised how many were built years and years ago. Impressive. After the boat tour, we took a stroll down to Millenium Park. There is a huge fountain area there with two large screens that scroll through people's faces. Katie told me they are citizens of the city. There were tons of kids playing happily in the water. There were several wedding parties under the bean. We tried to take a picture there, but were all horribly fat. If you don't know, it's a giant reflective thingy shaped like a bean. I don't know what happened to that picture.
After Millenium Park, we went shopping. This was one of my favorite parts. I was a first timer to H&M (THE best store ever), where the clothes are color coordinated, stylish, cheap, and fit like a dream!!! I bought a few things. Then we shopped for shoes at Nordstrom Rack. We also visited Charlotte Russe and I bought some earrings. After shopping, Katies fiance picked us up downtown and spared us from walking additional miles to get to Gino's, THE best pizza place ever. Chicago style. Although large and extremely deep dish, I was able to down one piece, and probably should've walked there to work off what I was eating. Hindsight.
That night, we got dressed up snazzy and went out on the town. I had plenty to drink turns out, but did just fine in the end. Nothing a little Ibuprofen/gatorade combo couldn't fix. Plus, when do the momma's REALLY get time out like this?
Sunday, we had breakfast at a diner down the street from Katie's. I had "Hangover Biscuits and Gravy". Fitting. Then Amy and I packed up and headed home. We had a great trip back over all. Minus a speeding ticket for 17 over. That couldn't be right....we were framed.
It was really fun to get away for a weekend and hang out in Chicago with friends. Plus, it just made me miss my family and I was super excited to see them when I got back! Here's to mini-vacay weekends!
Chicago...where sunglasses are forever appropriate
From left: Amy, floating head, Katie
Mel with new earrings and Amy Kate
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