Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A virtuous woman

In light of Mrs. Beth's entry into heaven, we have been inspired. People these days rarely die heroic deaths anymore. Due to modern medicine and modern culture, we rarely die in sword fights or in hot pursuit of our enemies, on horseback or on sinking ships, nor are we often confronted with sacrificing our life to save another's. But I do want to say that Beth died a heroic death. She faced what lied before her and did not flinch. She did not accept defeat or cower down in fear. She continued on with what she always did. She played piano, she served the church, she taught students until she couldn't anymore. She loved others and loved her family. She worked hard. She created beautiful things.

Recently, I've been confronted with a bit of a women's rights movement in my own heart. After a daunting bible study experience focusing on the topic of "a woman's place", I felt compelled to prove what I was hearing wasn't true. First of all, the fact that I didn't have immediate ammo from scripture reflected on my lack of knowledge of the Bible, a lack that I intend to change this year. Also, it gave me the opportunity to be led by faithful women that know their stuff, stepping out of the woodwork to save the day. My mom, and my friend Tara. (I could spend an entire lifetime praising awesome women like this).

Let me preface all of this by saying that I am not a feminist. I think women are amazing and I love that we have equal opportunity, sometimes only in theory, but I also am annoyed by women sportscasters and djs. They do a fine job, it's just that...well, I don't know. Sometimes, I'm just a little chauvinist. So, when this study of sex and marriage turned into a lesson on "headship" and how women should honor God by staying home with the children only, I listened. I wondered. I pondered this. I let it sink it. I felt guilty and conflicted.

So, I turned to my mom and to a good friend's listening ear, and here is what I received. The same thing from both. Proverbs 31. I really really really encourage you to read it if you haven't. I hadn't. Ok, now I don't trust you to read it so I'll put it here.

This isn't simply a debate on whether women should stay home with the kids or not. Both apply here, and if this is our only debate, we've missed the point.

Proverbs 31, verse 10-31

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her saying, "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

I am not sure that I can convey my excitement from these verses here in text, but I can bring it together in an illustration that we can all appreciate. For anyone who knew Beth, and for those who didn't, you do know someone who fits this bill. She works harder than anyone we know. Her family is well taken care of. She creates things and is successful in her business matters. She is talented and her heart is kind and giving. She gives every day of her life. She uses her talents for the glory of the Lord. She gives and loves and this defines her. And in the end, her name is well known at the gate....or in her town....or by her family and friends. She isn't well known simply because she is a do-er. She has done everything she has done in the name of the Lord. She has used her gifts from God for others. She honors God and others through them.

Beth was a Proverbs 31 woman. Read about her in my sister Lianna's or my Mom's blog. I knew Beth inspired me. She inspired me in every way. Now I know why....it's biblical. :)

Girls, love yourselves and do me a favor, don't feel guilty anymore. Feeling guilty seems to be a rite of passage for mother's and for all women in general, but please don't anymore. Look at what God gives us as an example of a virtuous woman. Find yourself in it. Business or home or both? Find yourself in it and be that. I can't think of a woman I know that doesn't have a place in those verses. We don't have to be perfect in everything, we just have to try and use our gifts for God and others and maybe stop wasting time beating ourselves up with inadequacy wars? Or maybe just I do that. I have a feeling not, however.

I just want to say that Beth was one of the most fantastic women I've ever met. I can't and won't ever be able to play piano like she did. I cannot give that gift. But I can give other gifts. So can you. Thank you Beth for living a heroic life, and dying a heroic death and inspiring everyone along the way. Your reward has GOT to be unimaginable in heaven!! We can't wait to see you again.

4 comments:

Lianna said...

Crap, Mel. Way to write the best post EVER. You freaking rock. Now give me a TWEAT.

expargen.

Kurt said...

Yay!

Yay for the Bible!

I love you woman - we'll talk again *soon*.

pubsess (that's what I'm typing in order to leave this comment...makes me think of a bar princess. How's that for edifying?)

amy powers said...

I've had something on my mind this week - it came from a song I heard on Life 107.1, and somehow the song seems to play every time I turn to that station. Funny how that happens. Anyway the words that keep going through my head are "I want to leave a legacy...How will they remember me? Will I choose to Love? Will I point to You enough?" I think this relates so much to what you wrote. I don't think God intended for all women to be one thing (stay at home moms, djs :), etc), but what he did want us to do is to love each other and do things in His name. I find when I have that attitude, life is just so much better!

Dan said...

You're all P-31s

hestf