Everything changes

There's a song...Everything Changes by Stain'd. I love it. It talks about, you guessed it, changes. Not THE change, so much, but you get it. I hope.

Anyway, I'm saying this because things are definitely changing for us around here. No, I'm not having another baby. Whew. But I am making a career change of epic proportions! If you ask me, they are epic. I have accepted a job with a surgeon group in Des Moines to be their little nursey nurse in their downtown office. What does this mean? No weekends. No holidays. No NIGHTS. 4Eva. AHHHHHHH!!!! Now normally when a nurse decides to do the office thing, as they leave the hospital, they also leave their pay behind too. But, by the grace of God, literally, this particular move does not have that requirement. In fact, in the end, I'm paid more than I was before. Working days, three days a week. No nights. Have I mentioned that yet?

It shouldn't be a big deal. But it is. My heart sinks when I know I won't spend Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day, or Easter with my family. It makes me sad when my kids think mom is a grumpy old hag, because I am. Or when they bring home things they've made at school that say "Dad watches Eli all the time because my mom sleeps all day." Nice. Whatever is true is not always what is perceived. My children's perception of this night time situation is not correct, but it is what they'll remember.

As I came to the crossroads, I had to leave behind what I thought to be my dream nursing job, for something I hadn't quite considered before for myself. Surgeons? Office? Should I, would I, could I?

Answer. Yes. I'm very excited. I love the office. I love seeing patients and making them comfortable. I love that I am given the opportunity to do this for my family. Picture this: (because I'm having difficulty doing so)...

home EVERY night
sleeping EVERY night
celebrating EVERY holiday
seeing my family EVERY weekend

But I want to recognize what nurses like me do and have done their whole lives, giving up those things for the care of their patients. What a beautiful gift they give.

I'm proud to be a nurse. And even though I'm going a different direction now, it doesn't mean I'll forget what it's like, or what nurses do so gracefully. For now, I have to put my family first. There's only a few short years while these babies are babies. I've got to hold on to that.