Everyday I'm shuffling

I realize my last post was extremely boring and mostly for me. It's possible that most of them probably are come to think of it. So if you haven't completely written off reading this blog, I'm shocked.

I drove Sophie to the ortho this morning to cast her broken arm. Yep, a broken arm. This is a mothering first for me, which is surprising considering I have three (=1,000,000) kids, none of whom have a care in the world for their own safety or well-being. So we ventured out together on this new adventure, only to find out Sophie doesn't need a cast, just a brace and that she can....wait for it....SWIM with this brace on and even play soccer again! We stepped outside the clinic after this news and placement of the brace and she began to dance in the parking lot. At first, I was confused by this because this was Soph, not Olivia. I shrugged as we started to skip and dance to the van and I said, "What are we doing?!" And Soph said without missing a beat, "I'm shuffling!"

Everyday I'm shuffling.

She was happy. Joy. 

There were many reasons to shuffle today. The cool Iowa morning. The beautiful sun with big billowy clouds. The blooming flowers and the smell of freshly cut grass. The perfect HOMEmade iced caramel latte that I consumed, made with love for me by me with my brand new espresso machine.

You see, life is good.

There are moments in my life when things look so dark, and I'm overwhelmed by the disaster I've become. My life, too busy. My priorities, not right. My weight...sigh. And it's funny what a difference a few days can make, a weekend, a Sunday, a renewing of spirit. Where my reverse anorexia is back and I'm mentally extremely good looking and skinny. Please don't shatter my reality with a picture or anything. Thanks. Things seem to eventually get sorted out once the shake up is over and my vision is cleared. And then...whoa. The world just seems right. The days and the nights, so beautiful. The gifts in my life, overwhelmingly generous. The problems I was so consumed with worry over, small and out of my hands.

It is always hard for me to remember that God isn't surprised by my shortcomings. He doesn't slap his hand over his mouth aghast at my mothering failures or my flaws. He knows me, inside and out. And he loves me. Yep, I don't get it either. It seems that it takes me a while to remember these things, and during the process, it's dark in here. But then the shake up is over and the dust settles and I can see the truth.

My good friend's grandpa had a bad disease as he grew older, and it changed his memory and the personality he was once known for. I remember, and always will remember, the song she told me reminded her of him and where he was now. "I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, bright sunshiny day." When he died, his clouds were gone and he could see again. And I think that maybe I'm like that too sometimes, in a different way.

Even though it isn't always easy to do, as life is sometimes, very dark....I think God wants us to see joy, to think about things that bring joy, to bask in the light he has so graciously provided. To shuffle, if you will.

And we will.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8