Should I say it?

"Should I say it Clark?" A great quote from a great movie that is broken out of bondage from it's spot on the DVD shelf this time of year. Christmas Vacation. Chevy Chase genius. Or if you lived temporarily with your brother and his roommates in Ames, it may play on repeat all day every day no matter what time of year it is. Either way.

Please forgive me while I celebrate our first "snow", as in the flurries that flew yesterday all afternoon. After working all night and sleeping most of the morning, I woke up to the white stuff flying through the air, the wind howling outside, me in my warm....well, almost warm/heater not working right/warmer than outside house. There is something exciting, something revolutionary about the first snow. It brings a mindset. It brings a feeling. It reminds me that my favorite time of year is almost here....Christmas!!! Most of you know that I have a hard time making it through October without playing Christmas music, secretly of course, like when I'm writing at the computer. So far, I've only slipped once and it was in November after all, WAY closer than October, and completely justified because I was making Christmas cards!

Snow reminds me to visit HyVee, or the V as Steve and I call it, to purchase the latest "holiday" coffee creamer section and buy whipped cream. I'm reminded to make pumpkin bars, cookies, chex mix, homemade of course, put plastic on my windows, and buy a pine scented candle. It reminds me to keep my house nice and clean because this is where we are spending more and more time now, as the weather gets colder and outdoor activities seem less appealing. I remember to sign the girls up for swimming lessons and work out more at the gym. I think about snow boots and hats and gloves, put away the shorts and tank tops, hang up the sweaters and fold the jeans.

It reminds me to think about what I'd like to give for Christmas...not the latest CD or the latest anything, but a gift from the heart. My sister in law Amy and I discussed this on a walk the other day and I think she's right. Some Christmases feel like you might as well give someone $20 in a white envelope and call it good. Where has the thought gone? Where has the wonder gone? I'm reminded this year that you don't have to be creative to give gifts from the heart. They don't even have to be homemade. Just think about that person, what they love, what they enjoy, what they don't give themselves. How can you honor them as a person? How can you bring them joy for a moment or two, or sometimes permanently....I have received many "permanent" gifts this year. One came in the form of my own words, my own stories, all whirled creatively fantastic style into a beautiful scrapbook, created by my sister, Lianna for Christmas last year. She took all the blogs and email updates I had written about us, the girls, our lifetime of stories together and scrapbooked these for me into one book to cherish, and I really really do cherish this book. I had forgotten most of the things I had written and even had forgotten some of the things my kids had said or done that had made an impression on me at that time. How could I forget? How could I ever forget again? Old memories are replaced with new each year, but after reading this book she had made for me, I was determined to never lose a memory again. How permanent of a change did she make for me? For my kids that will read this book someday, when I'm gone and they need me back? For them or anyone to clearly see how deeply and totally crazy in love with them I am, have always been, will always be.

The other gift came to me in a card from my mom on graduation. I've shared this one before, but I just can't get enough. For all the years that I have beat myself up over and over, not feeling good enough, not fitting into the mom world, but not fitting into the single world either. No degree, a stack of unfinished things in my life. No money, nothing to show, nothing to give, as far as the world would say anyhow. But accomplishments don't have to be visual, or tactile, on paper or published. Some go beyond what we think we know about success, and true success can be found in anybody.

These words remind me that...

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

I encourage you to give gifts of the heart this year. Fill up an extra sack of groceries for the family in your church you know is struggling. Let your kids shove a dollar bill into the way too small hole in the Salvation Army bucket. Buy a weird poppy thing from the guy outside WalMart. Give your husband a tiny remote controlled helicopter that flies through the air and watch him laugh like a little girl! Thanks mom! Love the people around you in the language they understand.

Oh, one more thing happens to me when winter arrives, a sentimental range of thoughts. You might just want to skip my blog for the next month, unless you are one of those people that loves Delilah or something.....even I want to puke listening to her. Your sentiments might be the same about me. No worries. Feel free to pick this blog back up in February or something, or read this blog in secret and tell no one for fear of shear embarrassment. I'm a tad more negative during February. It's so boring. And I've definitely lost my love for winter by then. I promise not to be sentimental in that month at all.

You know what I'm missing in this blog? You. Post a comment. Tell me what the best gift you ever received was. I want to know!

Happy snow....I said it.