Thursday, February 26, 2009
Green!!!!
We raked up some old leaves yesterday that we didn't get picked up in time for the first snow. To our amazement, this is what we found. Growing.....green....grass!!!! We flipped out! I showed the girls and they pushed all the leaves away to find more and more green grass growing. Then Olivia cleared out the patch of garden by our door and found a growing flower! We were in awe or this wonder called life. A growing living thing? What?!!! Now, let's be realistic....this all will die. But, it reminds us in this deadest time of year that things do in fact grow, and winter will (at some point) end. What a refreshing thought! Enjoy the view of our green grass. Happy Spring!
Skinny and white
I met the most racist man I have ever met last night at work, but at first, he looked just like you or me. He was a charmer, easy to talk to, easy joke around with, easy to like. At 3:30 a.m. the phlebotomist came to draw his blood for morning labs. She missed his vein and sent the second (better) phleb in to try. The second one came out to the desk and said the man had sent her out of his room rudely, and I shook it off and said, "Hey, come with me. I'll go in there with you. He's really not a problem". So, we went in. I said, "Hi there! I heard you didn't want to get your blood drawn?" He said, "I don't want any black people in my room and I don't want the black girl touching me." I looked at her and then to him and said, "Oh please do not talk that way here. She is the very best we have. She is very good at her job, and it has nothing to do with her skin color." He got very angry and turned red as he spat out that he was 53 years old, not born in the same generation as I was and he was a racist and proud of it. And while he was at it, he'd also like to say that both of those girls were fat and gross and was it too much to ask to get a skinny white girl in there? I said, "Skinny and white. Got it. Guess I have to go now too." He said, "No, you can stay." And then sickly said, "Why can't you draw my blood." I held back the puke in my throat and turned around but the girl was already on the elevator. I turned back to him and said, "You will not be discharged without morning labs. She was the best one here. You missed out." He told me he'd sign out AMA then. I nodded in agreement. I told him I'd happily grab that paper for him, and how about I take him down to the entrance now? (3 a.m.). He told me he'd wait for his wife. I informed him that insurance would not pay for his stay if he left AMA. He smugly said he's done it before and fought and got it paid, so he'll do it again. I took off his heart monitor, his IV, and his blood pressure cuff. I told him I would not be back in to see him. I shut the door. And I just about died. Are there really people like this still living among us? You know, not the ones that say an occasional racist joke or use a word that is offensive, but the real, the full of hatred unabashed racist? When the girl called back to see if she should come back and try to get his blood, I told her no. I told her she does a fabulous job and he wasn't worth one of the seconds of her night.
Do we have priviledge for being born white? I never thought so. In fact, I was a bit annoyed that people thought we had. Does that still exist? I didn't used to think so. I thought, this generation doesn't have anything to do with racism! Why are people still so obsessed about it? That's a thing from our history books. Now, I realize that it's not just in the history books, its now in mine. The disgust I taste in my mouth today over that scene will stick with me forever. The injustice and sickness of hate cuts through my heart.
Maybe I was wrong. Racism is not a thing of the past, and it shouldn't be tucked away quite yet. The african americans aren't just whining here. It's real. It's present. It's awful. The saddest part...it's not the first time that's happened to her.
Do we have priviledge for being born white? I never thought so. In fact, I was a bit annoyed that people thought we had. Does that still exist? I didn't used to think so. I thought, this generation doesn't have anything to do with racism! Why are people still so obsessed about it? That's a thing from our history books. Now, I realize that it's not just in the history books, its now in mine. The disgust I taste in my mouth today over that scene will stick with me forever. The injustice and sickness of hate cuts through my heart.
Maybe I was wrong. Racism is not a thing of the past, and it shouldn't be tucked away quite yet. The african americans aren't just whining here. It's real. It's present. It's awful. The saddest part...it's not the first time that's happened to her.
Grateful
It is not often that I get the opportunity or feel the need to watch Oprah, but today, as I opened my weary eyes at 4 pm...I needed to stare blankly at something for a few minutes before I ventured out with my red-eyed non-showered haggard looking self to make a public appearance at the daycare. The topic was the real face of the economic recession (borrring) I thought, remembering being beaten over the head with the "B" word as I call it (budget) at work. Grrr... Make it stop!
But there was a story about a nice looking middle class woman with three kids. They had recently become homeless, and the crew documented what they did day and in and day out. Shelters turning them away. Walking the streets during the day with all they have left (a very large garbage sack with their necessities...clothes, shoes, and toiletries). She was a home health aide before becoming homeless, her husband did clerical work. Both lost their jobs. They sold everything they had and still lost their home, then their apartment when the money ran out. They made decent money before, had little savings though, but lived an average life. Just like us, I thought.
As Oprah sent out the warning to those of us living paycheck to paycheck (like she has a clue), I thought, we have been saved over and over and over again financially, one way or another. This got me thinking....our little house and our somewhat high fixed rate mortgage might not be so bad. Struggling to make the payments is one thing. Not knowing how high they will be next is another. And despite Steve's job saying no to his annual raise and no longer matching his 401K, he still has a job. Despite the incessant banter about budget at work, I have a job too. We are ok. We are more than ok. And there are so many people that are not. Even though our heater quits when we need it the most, and our house isn't the prettiest in town, it's the place we call home. It has big rooms and it has a lot of love and memories. It has projects that we've finished together and most of all, it's safe. As I watched the mother huddle with her children over their homework in a busy shelter with no doors or privacy, I felt for a moment the terror she must have felt for those children. Better yet, the fear that she might lose them. I also thought of my family. They would never let that happen to us. Nor we for them. Thank God for what we are given, what we are lent, what we are blessed with. I just wanted to take a moment to be grateful. I'll take this life any day, with the tiny cheerleader in the front too.
But there was a story about a nice looking middle class woman with three kids. They had recently become homeless, and the crew documented what they did day and in and day out. Shelters turning them away. Walking the streets during the day with all they have left (a very large garbage sack with their necessities...clothes, shoes, and toiletries). She was a home health aide before becoming homeless, her husband did clerical work. Both lost their jobs. They sold everything they had and still lost their home, then their apartment when the money ran out. They made decent money before, had little savings though, but lived an average life. Just like us, I thought.
As Oprah sent out the warning to those of us living paycheck to paycheck (like she has a clue), I thought, we have been saved over and over and over again financially, one way or another. This got me thinking....our little house and our somewhat high fixed rate mortgage might not be so bad. Struggling to make the payments is one thing. Not knowing how high they will be next is another. And despite Steve's job saying no to his annual raise and no longer matching his 401K, he still has a job. Despite the incessant banter about budget at work, I have a job too. We are ok. We are more than ok. And there are so many people that are not. Even though our heater quits when we need it the most, and our house isn't the prettiest in town, it's the place we call home. It has big rooms and it has a lot of love and memories. It has projects that we've finished together and most of all, it's safe. As I watched the mother huddle with her children over their homework in a busy shelter with no doors or privacy, I felt for a moment the terror she must have felt for those children. Better yet, the fear that she might lose them. I also thought of my family. They would never let that happen to us. Nor we for them. Thank God for what we are given, what we are lent, what we are blessed with. I just wanted to take a moment to be grateful. I'll take this life any day, with the tiny cheerleader in the front too.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Lip service
We are home sick today. Olivia woke up crying last night and started throwing up this morning. After a long morning of illness and sleep, the girls awoke and momma put them in the tub. Next thing I knew, I heard the last famous words from the kitchen sink, "Mommm! Sophie's bleeding!" I ran into the bathroom to see Sophie's lip gushing blood. Olivia informed me that she had thrown a bath toy at the "wall" and it "accidentally" hit Sophie's lip. Uh huh. I applied pressure for quite a while to no avail. It bled and bled and bled. So, finally, we turned to she who knows best..Dora. Bandaid on, a little neosporin underneath and a new raging fashion statement. Tada!!! A happy child too. The end.
Mel- 8 lbs. lighter and counting.
Monday, February 16, 2009
California visits Iowa
I'm doing LA weight loss. It's nothing hokey pokey. It' s just healthy eating in the right portions. I decided to join after seeing Darrell lose an extraordinary amount of weight. Then, my mom decided to join so she could be on the same page as Darrell. She lost weight too (although not needed). This got me thinking.....I've got a pretty big support group. I'm seeing results in others. I've only shed 30 lbs. in two years by myself. Sigh. I need help. So, I received.
Today when I checked into the office to get more bars (awesome chocolate bars I get two of per day), I weighed in .4 lbs heavier than last week, although I lost six pounds last week. I'm not defeated or sad. I FEEL GREAT!!! I have never had more energy. I'm excited about each day. I love this. So, thank you Darrell and Mom, for lighting the path I'm now on. This is going to be great. By the way, if all goes as planned, I'll reach my goal weight by August 19th (a full month before my sister and I run a race together). That sounds so soon! I'm overwhelmed by the possibilities! If I seem off track, remind me of this goal. Remind me of the date. Remind me of the purpose of this whole thing. Wait, I didn't tell you the purposessss.
1. I want a healthy body. No diabetes, heart disease, or clogged arteries.
2. I want to be free. I don't want to be addicted to anything. This includes cheesecake. I think.
3. I want to set an example for my girls. I do not want to see them fight with their weight their entire lives, so why not get it right now?
4. I want to be able to run. (Without an inhaler).
5. I want to be comfortable in a swimming suit. Not hot, just comfortable.
6. I want my outside appearance to match my inside self.
There are just a few of the reasons I'm dedicated to this. So, as an outreaching support group (that's what I consider you), remind me if I forget. I'll take my annoying optimistic self downstairs now to do laundry. Toodleloo!
Melanie (six pounds lighter and counting).
Today when I checked into the office to get more bars (awesome chocolate bars I get two of per day), I weighed in .4 lbs heavier than last week, although I lost six pounds last week. I'm not defeated or sad. I FEEL GREAT!!! I have never had more energy. I'm excited about each day. I love this. So, thank you Darrell and Mom, for lighting the path I'm now on. This is going to be great. By the way, if all goes as planned, I'll reach my goal weight by August 19th (a full month before my sister and I run a race together). That sounds so soon! I'm overwhelmed by the possibilities! If I seem off track, remind me of this goal. Remind me of the date. Remind me of the purpose of this whole thing. Wait, I didn't tell you the purposessss.
1. I want a healthy body. No diabetes, heart disease, or clogged arteries.
2. I want to be free. I don't want to be addicted to anything. This includes cheesecake. I think.
3. I want to set an example for my girls. I do not want to see them fight with their weight their entire lives, so why not get it right now?
4. I want to be able to run. (Without an inhaler).
5. I want to be comfortable in a swimming suit. Not hot, just comfortable.
6. I want my outside appearance to match my inside self.
There are just a few of the reasons I'm dedicated to this. So, as an outreaching support group (that's what I consider you), remind me if I forget. I'll take my annoying optimistic self downstairs now to do laundry. Toodleloo!
Melanie (six pounds lighter and counting).
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Dare to...
Can I dare to say how happy I am this week? Coasting in on a new wave of attitude and thinking about my job, I'm floating on calmer seas. (Refer to last entry). In this knowledge that life is not all about me and what results I can get, I've been feeling fulfilled, thankful, with an easy heart that asks for help often, knowing that I can only do what I can do to the best I know how. This knowledge has brought freedom. And wasn't that His point anyway? I feel more like myself, and prouder of myself when I'm refraining from tearing myself down all the time. This has led me to be more upbeat, stronger, and able to be there for others who need it. That's where my heart should be.
This has also led me to make some changes for myself, but ultimately for many reasons, that have been a long time coming. There is a new lifestyle stirring around in this house, and it has stolen away six of my pounds this week! How dare it? But I like it and it feels like somewhat of a game and at the same time, a spa treatment perhaps...a holistic way to keep body, mind, and spirit in check. I'm very excited about this. I'm very motivated for the future look of Mel. I've noticed that with positive feelings about myself, come positive thoughts and positive actions. There just might be something to this "taking care of yourself" thing. Stay tuned.
Yesterday, we celebrated a family valentine's day of sorts. I stopped on the way home from work to get some gifts for the girls and Steve. I found two tiny stuffed puppies for O & S. Sophie named hers "Sella Motor" and Olivia named hers "Valentines Love Clark". Then, I was graciously granted an hour long nap. Then, the girls woke me up to go sledding (I'm normally resistant to this activity but gave in for this day). Steve had come into the room with an arm full of snow gear and began dressing me in it as if I were a baby. It made me laugh though, and I felt warm enough to venture out. We just went a few blocks over to the PC park. There were a few kids already there. I was so excited, I took the first dive down the hill on the green sled. It was awesome. Then we all took turns jumping on top of each other and flying down the hill. We left when Olivia was going to pee her pants and returned to the house for our "cocoa party"...aka...the girls get hot cocoa and watch a movie. I picked Nemo.
Suddenly, I started to smell this glorious smell and followed it to the kitchen where Steve was making me the best dinner ever! Herbed salmon from the grill and sauteed peppers, squash, carrots, and zucchini, salad and fruit. It was delectable. After that, we watched Transformers together. This was my gift to Steve (but also Olivia and Sophie who love to use words like Megatron, and Optimus Prime). Optimus Prime is a funny one from the neon girl with a slight lisp. Anyway, we sat together and the girls were super excited and jumped up to bang their heads to the music when Optimus Prime breaks into the scene. We laughed and had popcorn and wrestled and did airplane. It was a fantastic night and we all slept like babies...except for me who went to bed too early and then stayed up listening to Steve snore....
Hope all your Valentine's Days were as fulfilling. We're off to church, then over to Dan and Amy's for smoked ribs. Mmmmm...have a great day!
This has also led me to make some changes for myself, but ultimately for many reasons, that have been a long time coming. There is a new lifestyle stirring around in this house, and it has stolen away six of my pounds this week! How dare it? But I like it and it feels like somewhat of a game and at the same time, a spa treatment perhaps...a holistic way to keep body, mind, and spirit in check. I'm very excited about this. I'm very motivated for the future look of Mel. I've noticed that with positive feelings about myself, come positive thoughts and positive actions. There just might be something to this "taking care of yourself" thing. Stay tuned.
Yesterday, we celebrated a family valentine's day of sorts. I stopped on the way home from work to get some gifts for the girls and Steve. I found two tiny stuffed puppies for O & S. Sophie named hers "Sella Motor" and Olivia named hers "Valentines Love Clark". Then, I was graciously granted an hour long nap. Then, the girls woke me up to go sledding (I'm normally resistant to this activity but gave in for this day). Steve had come into the room with an arm full of snow gear and began dressing me in it as if I were a baby. It made me laugh though, and I felt warm enough to venture out. We just went a few blocks over to the PC park. There were a few kids already there. I was so excited, I took the first dive down the hill on the green sled. It was awesome. Then we all took turns jumping on top of each other and flying down the hill. We left when Olivia was going to pee her pants and returned to the house for our "cocoa party"...aka...the girls get hot cocoa and watch a movie. I picked Nemo.
Suddenly, I started to smell this glorious smell and followed it to the kitchen where Steve was making me the best dinner ever! Herbed salmon from the grill and sauteed peppers, squash, carrots, and zucchini, salad and fruit. It was delectable. After that, we watched Transformers together. This was my gift to Steve (but also Olivia and Sophie who love to use words like Megatron, and Optimus Prime). Optimus Prime is a funny one from the neon girl with a slight lisp. Anyway, we sat together and the girls were super excited and jumped up to bang their heads to the music when Optimus Prime breaks into the scene. We laughed and had popcorn and wrestled and did airplane. It was a fantastic night and we all slept like babies...except for me who went to bed too early and then stayed up listening to Steve snore....
Hope all your Valentine's Days were as fulfilling. We're off to church, then over to Dan and Amy's for smoked ribs. Mmmmm...have a great day!
Monday, February 9, 2009
When I am wrong
When I am wrong, I may only feel it as a feeling, a lurking sense of disatisfaction, but I don't know it as a full knowledge quite yet. I'm not aware it could be me that has been wrong. It's the circumstances right? Fix the circumstance, fix the uneasiness!
Such as, I hurt for those who I try to help and fail, but I bitterly think to myself that if I had only done this or had only done that, if I had changed the circumstance, I could've changed the outcome! As if perfection were mine to reach. As if I control more than what I have for breakfast.
My soul has wondered lately, what my purpose is at all. I had a glorious dream these past few years, that I would rise above my lowly position as a student and mother and become a great nurse, someone that would be remembered by my patients forever, someone who has made a difference not to be forgotten. These were the dreams of one searching for their own significance. But, significance is not found exclusively in self or in deeds, and when searched for there, you will come up short. You will not find it there. And neither did I.
Jesus said, "If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." Luke 6:32-36.
When I try so hard to heal someone and sit back to see the results, I'm disappointed. This is what I've been at work lately, disappointed, struck down, saddened. Social conditions continue to deteriorate, sadness sometimes prevails, poverty is prevalent, evil surrounds. According to Jesus, of course it's easy to love those who love you (the patients who love me right back and we get along great and they are renewed and thankful). But Jesus says, anybody can do that! And if I lend to those who can repay (give me verbal thanks and praise and vow to stop their unhealthy habits), why should I get credit for that?
I've whined in the past few weeks that maybe I'm just in the wrong field. I need to see happy, have recognition for doing a good job, be remembered for doing good. I want to see people's lives changed, and sadness turned to happiness. Where does that happen? Where is that job? Labor and delivery? The clinic? Surgery so they are knocked out and can't talk to me?
It has hit me today through the reading of Luke, who is known as a compassionate physician, that it's possible that this world and the work I do is NOT for me but for HIM. I'm reminded kindly, that searching for worldly praise will never fulfill.
So may I do my work as I have always done, but without searching for respect or success. Relying on the Lord to fill my spirit, not by words of a thankful people, but through Him, a silent master of fulfillment. I have all I need.
To remind myself:
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord. And He...will lift...you up! Higher and higher and He will lift you up.
"The Lord is my shepard. I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. "
Such as, I hurt for those who I try to help and fail, but I bitterly think to myself that if I had only done this or had only done that, if I had changed the circumstance, I could've changed the outcome! As if perfection were mine to reach. As if I control more than what I have for breakfast.
My soul has wondered lately, what my purpose is at all. I had a glorious dream these past few years, that I would rise above my lowly position as a student and mother and become a great nurse, someone that would be remembered by my patients forever, someone who has made a difference not to be forgotten. These were the dreams of one searching for their own significance. But, significance is not found exclusively in self or in deeds, and when searched for there, you will come up short. You will not find it there. And neither did I.
Jesus said, "If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." Luke 6:32-36.
When I try so hard to heal someone and sit back to see the results, I'm disappointed. This is what I've been at work lately, disappointed, struck down, saddened. Social conditions continue to deteriorate, sadness sometimes prevails, poverty is prevalent, evil surrounds. According to Jesus, of course it's easy to love those who love you (the patients who love me right back and we get along great and they are renewed and thankful). But Jesus says, anybody can do that! And if I lend to those who can repay (give me verbal thanks and praise and vow to stop their unhealthy habits), why should I get credit for that?
I've whined in the past few weeks that maybe I'm just in the wrong field. I need to see happy, have recognition for doing a good job, be remembered for doing good. I want to see people's lives changed, and sadness turned to happiness. Where does that happen? Where is that job? Labor and delivery? The clinic? Surgery so they are knocked out and can't talk to me?
It has hit me today through the reading of Luke, who is known as a compassionate physician, that it's possible that this world and the work I do is NOT for me but for HIM. I'm reminded kindly, that searching for worldly praise will never fulfill.
So may I do my work as I have always done, but without searching for respect or success. Relying on the Lord to fill my spirit, not by words of a thankful people, but through Him, a silent master of fulfillment. I have all I need.
To remind myself:
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord. And He...will lift...you up! Higher and higher and He will lift you up.
"The Lord is my shepard. I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. "
When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart, You're in my head
You're all I need, You're all I need
There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear
You're all I need
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need
When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You're all I need
You're all I need
The sun on my face
I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need
You're all I need
I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You
You're all I need
Sunday, February 8, 2009
A long winter's dream
Waking before the sun comes up fully, but able to see all things aglow from it's hint. The air is cool but not cold. The sky is crystal clear. Footsteps resonate from the pavement. I make it just in time to watch the lake light on fire, all ablaze in the new light of the day. The wind blows softly but purposefully. I breathe deep.
Breakfast is made for the little ones and we sit together and laugh. Fresh orange juice and toast and a crossword puzzle. They scamper away giggling. Alone for a minute, I read thin, crinkly pages of an old Bible, take one more sip, and arise.
The sink is full of good smelling bubbles and hot water, but my hands don't burn. I scrub each dish with a squeaky clean shine, watch the water chase away the bubbles down the drain and I dry my hands. They are soft and clean.
The wet clothes await in the washer from last night's late night load. I gather them up on my hip and push the door open with the basket. I unlock the gate and step onto the freshly dew-rinsed grass, fresh smelling and cut from the day before. I hang tiny shorts and shirts and skirts and pants up on the line, securing them with their own clips. The wind blows lightly, swishing them back and forth, and a strong gust makes the flap, a clapping sound as if they approve. The wind grabs the clean smell and swirls it around the yard.
The sun is up and warming the day. I sit on the step as the girls ride their bikes up and back the driveway. They gather sticks and rocks and grass and leaves to make the special houses for the ants. I sit on the step strumming the only three chords I know but making the words fit just the same. The windchimes sing too, in the light summer wind. The leaves are growing bigger now on the tiny fruit trees by the road. Soon there will be apples and cherries, and I'll watch the girls in their flowy summer dresses as they pick them for a pie, but most make it only to their cherry stained lips that pucker to the taste but eat them just the same. Little tanned shoulders and scraped up knees. It's a hint to the perfect season of joy.
Our skin is feeling tight with the heat so we retreat to the shade tree where a cool rush of air greets our cheeks. We sit down to eat and lounge up high on the deck and we watch the day around town unfold. The hose fills up the pool and I tell them its too cold now, but later, after nap the time will be right. As I tuck them in bed, they ask if its warm yet and I say not quite, but just sleep it through, and have happy dreams and dream about me and when you wake up, you and me we will see eachother splash through the pool and create our mud pies. For this is the perfect day, one made for you and I. And its totally in reach. It lives where I live and lives where you live. It's waiting outside.
Their eyes bow to sleep and I tiptoe away, knowing this of all days is the perfect of days. I dig in the dirt to plant to purple and white flowers, and hang the basket of long viney flowers to hang in the summer breeze. I give the dry ones a drink and notice the greenest of greens along the flower bed in front by the steps.
I lay down belly down on the couch with my arms hanging down and watch the curtains blow in and go out. The fan circles gently up above my head and my eyes blink a bit heavier and I open them in vain. So much to do now, but I give up this moment and I close them again. The birds are singing outside and the wind blows so slightly. I dream of what we'll do once we awaken. For this is the perfect day, and it's only half done. So much yet to do, so much that will be done.
Breakfast is made for the little ones and we sit together and laugh. Fresh orange juice and toast and a crossword puzzle. They scamper away giggling. Alone for a minute, I read thin, crinkly pages of an old Bible, take one more sip, and arise.
The sink is full of good smelling bubbles and hot water, but my hands don't burn. I scrub each dish with a squeaky clean shine, watch the water chase away the bubbles down the drain and I dry my hands. They are soft and clean.
The wet clothes await in the washer from last night's late night load. I gather them up on my hip and push the door open with the basket. I unlock the gate and step onto the freshly dew-rinsed grass, fresh smelling and cut from the day before. I hang tiny shorts and shirts and skirts and pants up on the line, securing them with their own clips. The wind blows lightly, swishing them back and forth, and a strong gust makes the flap, a clapping sound as if they approve. The wind grabs the clean smell and swirls it around the yard.
The sun is up and warming the day. I sit on the step as the girls ride their bikes up and back the driveway. They gather sticks and rocks and grass and leaves to make the special houses for the ants. I sit on the step strumming the only three chords I know but making the words fit just the same. The windchimes sing too, in the light summer wind. The leaves are growing bigger now on the tiny fruit trees by the road. Soon there will be apples and cherries, and I'll watch the girls in their flowy summer dresses as they pick them for a pie, but most make it only to their cherry stained lips that pucker to the taste but eat them just the same. Little tanned shoulders and scraped up knees. It's a hint to the perfect season of joy.
Our skin is feeling tight with the heat so we retreat to the shade tree where a cool rush of air greets our cheeks. We sit down to eat and lounge up high on the deck and we watch the day around town unfold. The hose fills up the pool and I tell them its too cold now, but later, after nap the time will be right. As I tuck them in bed, they ask if its warm yet and I say not quite, but just sleep it through, and have happy dreams and dream about me and when you wake up, you and me we will see eachother splash through the pool and create our mud pies. For this is the perfect day, one made for you and I. And its totally in reach. It lives where I live and lives where you live. It's waiting outside.
Their eyes bow to sleep and I tiptoe away, knowing this of all days is the perfect of days. I dig in the dirt to plant to purple and white flowers, and hang the basket of long viney flowers to hang in the summer breeze. I give the dry ones a drink and notice the greenest of greens along the flower bed in front by the steps.
I lay down belly down on the couch with my arms hanging down and watch the curtains blow in and go out. The fan circles gently up above my head and my eyes blink a bit heavier and I open them in vain. So much to do now, but I give up this moment and I close them again. The birds are singing outside and the wind blows so slightly. I dream of what we'll do once we awaken. For this is the perfect day, and it's only half done. So much yet to do, so much that will be done.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Harley the horse
This weekend, Sophie embarked on her first ever birthday party without big sister Olivia! Her best buddy, Abbey, from preschool invited her to the Jester Park Riding Stables for a 4th birthday party. The invitation said, "princess party" and so, I dressed Sophie in a pink skirt with tights and princess shoes. Then we showed up and realized we had to walk through a LARGE parking lot full of mud (courtesy of our 50 degree day) mixed with horse manure and gravel. We also then realized that we were actually going to be riding the horses. Thus the name "riding stables". I guess I just thought they rented a room there or something. Ner. So, here is a not so good quality photo of Sophie riding her horse, Harley, in her dress and princess shoes and helmet. Heck yes.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
This is a story that was told in our church today. It is one that can only be appreciated to its core by this background: the coach is a devout follower of Christ. He loved his players, and he especially loved Jason. This is what God will do for those that love him. He leads us to do things for others out of love. And sometimes, He takes those acts of love and just celebrates them!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngzyhnkT_jY
I expected one.......but 6?!
I am overwhelmed by this, not because of the shots, but because of the players, team, coaches, and the crowd's support. This is what community should be.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12: 29-31
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngzyhnkT_jY
I expected one.......but 6?!
I am overwhelmed by this, not because of the shots, but because of the players, team, coaches, and the crowd's support. This is what community should be.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12: 29-31
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