Extreme Holiday

We just got back from an epic Thanksgiving celebration. It was complete with family I haven't seen in forever that drove in from far away (Aunt DebbieDebbie) and with family from near that I don't see nearly enough. It gave us time with my beautiful Grandma Betty (GG) as she is called by the littles, who hosted this gig in the big room in her apartment building. It included a get together of all of our little tiny people running around all red faced and sugared up and laughing hysterically and NO, you cannot have more dessert. 

But I love my family most because after that was said and done, were they done? Nope. We had Black Friday to celebrate. 

The girls in our family normally head out for some early morning shopping and that's not the Black Friday deal I'm talking about. This year, Black Friday consisted of black cherry pretzel dessert, black forest ham (not just any old ham..but a special pig selected by Shawn, cured, smoked, and prepared all by Shawn=BEST HAM I'VE EVER TASTED BLACK FOREST HAM), black bean salsa with black tortilla chips, blackberry pie........mwahahhahahaha! Who is having fun yet? We are! Word games too. Lots of them. Scrabble. Upwords. And Wii.

Sigh....

I love my family. They are so much fun. 

And shopping this year was the funniest it's ever been too. Lianna is ssssuper pregnant right now so we toned it down a little bit: 

Me: "Um, I don't know. You probably need your sleep. So, should we just go out like at 5?"

Lianna: "Sure."

2:30 a.m.....Lianna texts Mel: "I have to pee and I'm hungry. Want to go shopping?"

Me: "My air mattress is completely flat and my hips might be broken, but if I can walk, yeah sure."

There were no lines, no mean people, nada. I don't know where they get those news stories, but it isn't where we go I guess. Lucky us. We did see these two sisters, probably in their 50's wearing giant reindeer antlers. We both looked at each other and mouthed in unison, "NEXT YEAR!"

We walked to Java House with our kids in a wagon. We had a birthday party for Lenora. 

We had SO MUCH FUN. 

Thanks to God for the family we were given. Thanks to the Cornally's for hosting and theme-ing and scheming the living daylights out of this holiday. 

Since we love extreme holidays, we thought we'd get together next weekend at Powers' for the all day long annual Christmas Movie Marathon! 

Happy Holidays.........Let's DO this!

My friend, Guilt

I'd like to sit down here and give a little shout out to my friend, Guilt. She's an gooood one, Guilt. She sticks close to me. She's a shadow of me in the Fall sunshine. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall. She always stays near. She does so much tearing apart of my insides that you'd think I'd be skinny. Ha! But no. Still here. Here I am. I'm on my second muffin. I'll eat tuna for lunch. It'll be fine.

Is it part of being a mom? Or a woman perhaps? Or maybe, as I sit here with my friend, Guilt, she says to me, "Well, Mel, sounds like a bit of a personal problem, eh? Wink wink. Like, ahem...anyone who reads this will be a-laughing at you and you will still be spending time with me, Guilt, your only friend, as you think about how you fall short, still. Guilty. Lame. Fall short, you do."

You really do.

• Friend? Not a very good one. "You're too busy with all the other things you're doing. You've made that clear."

• Mom? "Um...ok I guess."

• Wife? "Average maybe. When was your last date did you say?"

• Goals? "Where, exactly, did you say you'd be by now?" 

There was a time when I didn't feel this way. I didn't feel so fall shorty. I'm making up for it now, I suppose. There will be some who will appreciate that. I'm picturing high school. Who doesn't picture high school? Popular people?

What to do with it....what to do with it. It's funny. The price has been paid, yes? Christ has paid that cost for us. But then the awkward silence is there, and I try to fill it with something. So, I say something, which turns out to be insufficient, and therefore stupid and then it is there, guilt. ALL DAY LONG. And I pray for it to go away and I know it has already been done, but I wonder what they must think of what I said and what I meant by that and what MUST THEY THINK about what I said?

I used to not care.

I really miss those days.

If I could just put a banner over my head, a big disclaimer that would cover me. Maybe it would say in Georgia font or maybe Helvetica and I'd use those smelly markers:

It turns out, I'm not perfect. I'm not a very good friend. I'm not a perfect mother. I'm not a perfect wife. My house is sometimes really, quite adorable, and sometimes it is an abomination. You'll probably stop by when it is an abomination. Sometimes I say super stupid things, because I don't know how to handle being sad and worst of all, I don't know how to handle being quiet. And frankly, I'm terrified that if it were to be that way, that I might just fall to pieces. I refuse to let that happen. I'm working hard to hold it together.

So, if my banner said that, would it buy me a bit of peace, a bit of solace away from her? Away from Guilt?

Because she's killing me.

Do you know why it really bothers me? Deep down?

Because I wish I could hold this banner instead and that everyone knew and that I never had to worry that anyone knew anything but my true intentions:

"Ignore anything stupid I might say. I actually really love you, and I want you to laugh too. Do you want a latte?"

If I could just hold that banner instead, I think she might go away for good.

Out of season- Olivia 2012

The girls finished their soccer seasons recently. When I say recently, I mean October. But that's neither here nor there. I do what I can when I can to document. 

Since the girls were in different towns for their games this season, which was quite unfortunate, I had the honor of being with Livy, out of town in Pleasant Hill or someplace for her last game. It was a great game. I don't know how it worked out, but every girl on the team scored a goal. And that's strange because they all play different positions and they're older now and sometimes goals are scarce, but somehow....it all worked out for them. I love that kind of game. 

Olivia is a player that any sideline watcher adores. She's really really entertaining. Like when she couldn't get her goalie gloves on and the whole game and sidelines waited for her? Embarrassed? Neeew. She flipped her little hands out to her side and exclaimed, "Sorry!" Hehehehe! And everyone giggled. Because she's so darn cute. 

Her Mom? Is mostly panicked. "Ermagherrrd....put the gloves on! Just PULL them ON!...she's in the wrong spot....stop doing cartwheels!!! Why is she picking up litter?! NO! YES! NO! Oh....my.....g.....YES!!! That's my KID!!!! WOOHOOOOO!"

I'm just so proud of her. The roller coaster is totally worth it. Because this is how she looks after her last game:

Man, I love that kid. Isn't she cool?

Payback

Dear Mom,

I have to sit down and write you this to apologize. See, as I was cleaning my kitchen at 5 a.m. this morning, busily putting homework books away and recycling papers, I swept away a stack of papers to find a giant black, hairy tarantula on my kitchen table.

As I'm typing this, I'm still drenched in sweat and my heart is palpitating. I feel nauseous but I'm still shakily raising my cup of coffee to my quivering lips because I'm trying really, really hard to carry on as a normal human should.

I'm a smart, educated woman. Right? I know it can't be real. I live in Iowa. We have no giant, black, hairy tarantulas. But there it is. On my kitchen table.

You know, after I ran out of the room trying to catch my breath and finally got the courage to go back in and had talked myself into the fact that it truly wasn't real....I HAD TO, in fact, take care of this myself, because, of all times in the universe, Steve is away on a business trip right now. Mom, I thought of you.

I remember when I went to the Science Center as a kid and I had some money to spend at the gift shop. And do you remember what I bought? I put it on your pillow. I'm sure you do. Just for everyone else, I'll write it here. It was a giant, curled up, glow in the dark centipede. The thing you fear most in life. And I put it on your pillow. And in my little tiny kid heart, I truly believed you'd think it was FUNNY. Ha ha ha. FUNNY. Can you believe that Mom? I just couldn't fathom your reaction when you were so furious with me.

But now I get it.

I totally get.

Payback is a b*t#h. And that is my life lesson today.

I love you, Mom. You are my hero. Today, I'm really sorry about the centipede, and I can't wait for Sophie Grace Clark to wake up out of her peaceful slumber this morning...........I.JUST.CAN'T.WAIT.