Neither a doormat nor bulldozer

The wise are mightier than the strong and those with knowledge grow stronger and stronger. So don't go to war without wise guidance. Victory depends on having many advisers.
Wisdom is too lofty for fools.
A person who plans evil will get a reputation as a troublemaker. The schemes of a fool are sinful; everyone detests a mocker.
Wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future, and your hopes will not be cut short.
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.
Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.
~Proverbs

These Proverbs spoke to me today. Cut short, dishonored, plotted against, unfairly treated. It happens to us. How do we respond? What is the difference between being a push over and being assertive? One answer from an excerpt in my study Bible:

"Assertiveness means that you let others know your true thoughts, feelings, or desires about a situation."

It does not mean doing so by manipulation or threat.

"You are not apologetic for what you want, either by the way you talk or by the way you act."

Assertiveness is not to be confused with aggression.

"It's a firm, polite expression of how you feel, think, or of what you want. At the same time, it must be a demonstration of respect for the other person. You make no attempt to belittle him or to have him do something against his will. But you don't permit him to force his will on you....You're neither a doormat nor a bulldozer, but a person who has opinions, feelings, and wants that others need to take into account."

This has been a struggle for me. I apologize immediately after speaking my mind. I ask if it's ok that I said no. "Can I put a giant lawn gnome in your yard Mel?" SURE!!!
Me later: "I hate that gnome. Why couldn't I just have said no?! I hate that person who asked me if I wanted the gnome. They are so annoying. How dare they ask me that?" I glare out my window through a tiny slit in my curtain in vain....:)

That was semi-fictional but still a representation of the way of living I've come to know, lately to become aware of. And I'm hurting myself through this. I've got it all wrong. So thank you Bible, for opening to your own page and having it be exactly what I need. I used to be surprised....