Ask anything

Ask anything

John 14:13

12 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. 13 “Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 “If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.
15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

Ask anything. Ask anything? Ask anything in Jesus' name and it shall be done? Really? After the sermon that mentioned this verse was given, I remained troubled by it. It's pretty bold is it not? It's pretty clear right? But I'm pretty sure that I've begged God for things that haven't happened. My tiny brain worked on this....slowly...(working nights makes me dumber).

Things have been a bit rough this past month, with a blow of severe morning sickness that made me crawl on my knees and beg for MERCY, to the two weeks of work that I missed because of it, to the denial of the insurance money to cover me financially for those two weeks....life just loves to punch you in the gut while your down...or when you have the gall to try and get back up.

But today, when I talked to the nurse at our OB clinic, and she sounded unsympathetic to my minor request for a note stating why I wasn't at work...and after she didn't care much when I explained this note was the only thing keeping me from receiving a much needed paycheck from insurance this Friday....little emotion was summoned from the depths of her soul. This was apparent. She said she'd get back to me tomorrow, but doubted the doctor would complete my request. Okay....I thanked her. The call ended. Hopeless, I thought...really.

I thought of the verse that troubled me. Ask anything. Faith. Trust. Believe. I thought of my faith in the past...hmmm....a quite lame past, actually. About me: I just LOOOOOVE to freak out when things go wrong. I just LOOOOOVE to try and control uncontrollable situations. I just LOOOOOVE to frantically try and fix and do and complete and finish....I pretty much always feel incredibly stupid when things turn out just fine in the end. I feel a tad sheepish at my lack of faith in the first place. I mean...I know God takes care of me. But I just can't seem to cut out the freak out factor.

Today I asked for something in Jesus' name. I asked that the clinic would just sign the damn paper for me. I think I even used the swear word. I asked that they'd sign the paper and I could get it faxed to the insurance company. I made a point to state what I needed, clearly, concisely. I asked it with the best of intentions. I need to take care of my family. I need to pay my bills. And it was quite unfair that they wouldn't do one small thing for me. So, please? God?

After this prayer, I was filled with anger towards the clinic, especially the Dr. without any type of human quality about her. I thought about what my second actions would be and then the third...yes, THAT'S what I'll do next. I planned, I plotted. I tried to CONTROL.

That's the norm for me. No surprise there. But then I stopped, thought, and physically MADE myself quit the plotting panic. Have faith. Let it go. LIG my mom says. I enjoy her abbrev. But I couldn't. I found myself five minutes later STILL worrying...thinking...plotting....so I prayed this time. Please help me let it go. Please let me just have faith this time. I'm trying.

I decided to sit down. Read. I love this book I'm reading. Just a few pages left. And I won't worry. And I won't think.

Ten minutes later, as I was finishing up the last sentence of my book, my cell rang next to me. RESTRICTED...it said. There's only one place that says this, my OB clinic. What NOW?....

Hello...?

"Melanie! Hi! It's Ashley...from work (my job at WestLakes L&D), but also your OB clinic today. I'm filling in for one of the nurses today. Listen, I overheard Cassie...the other nurse...talking to you over the phone. I went ahead and wrote the note up for you. Where would you like it sent?"

Me: Speechless.

Ashley: "Mel?"

Me: "You are a gift from GOD!!!!" I exclaim like a crazy person.

Ashley: "Ummm...I don't think so." She laughs.

Me: "But, the other nurse...she didn't seem so..."

Ashley: "I know....I KNOW." She laughs again.

Me: "I can't believe this Ashley. That you're there! That you're doing this for me! Thank you! I was just sitting here praying, worried."

Ashley: "It's no problem. Where can I send it?"

And I gave her the fax number. Astounded. Overwhelmed. Dumbfounded, really.

The other nurse had said she wouldn't call me back until the next day. She told me that doctor was out of the office. She said it wasn't likely. All reasons not to believe it'd happen.

You know, I can't particularly try and pull the audience (you) into this story, because you don't really know what a paycheck this week would mean to me, or the absence, rather. It may sound trivial, or contrived, or perhaps that the ending is anticlimatic to you.

Mmmm..oh well! Sometimes my ability to tell a story falls short. But, it's true what happened to me today. It's true and real and I don't even know what it quite means yet. But God answered me today, with an unlikely turn of events. I'm still processing what it means to me. I'm still pondering this verse. I know God is not a genie and I know he doesn't give me whatever I want. But today, he listened, as I asked for something specific in His name.

I asked anything....and I just couldn't keep that to myself.