Cheep

Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep............cheep......CHEEP.......chEEP.......cheep.....CHEEP!!!

There is a bird outside my window that is relentless this morning. Sometimes working nights can be a blessing. Sometimes I wake up at odd hours after working a few nights in a row, unable to sleep, but wanting to. But those times are actually good times, because if I were sleeping at those times, I might be really annoyed at being woken up by a unrelenting bird.

But the bird reminded me of something this morning. SUMMER. I love waking up on summer mornings (if I actually sleep the night before) because long before the sun is actually up, the birds totally know about it. They start singing long before they should (because we've decided they should start right about sunrise). By the time you go outside, even in the early stages of daylight, the world is inundated with the SOUND of nature. It sounds like a party we missed out on. And it is....

I have found that I connect to God in many different ways. My most obvious way is through music. Not just music on the Christian channel with hokey pokey announcers, although I do listen to them too at times, but all music. A song can lift my spirit up to the highest of highs while driving down the highway on my way to Target or a song chock full of heart and soul can carry me deep to that place too. But both of those roads lead me to God.

The Earth. That brings me to God too. The annoying bird outside my window made me dream of a summer morning, cool but not freezing, dew on the ground, my fruit trees blooming, flowers opening in the sun, the light slowly revealing the promise of a new day, the sound of the birds knowing something we don't.....I just love summer mornings. I think about the ones that I've lived before, what I've done with those days. I took my kids to the lake. We hung clothes out in the breeze. I lay in the sun in my overpriced recliner beach chair that was a gift to myself one Mother's Day. The girls squeal as they run through the sprinkler. It brings me a sense described by a very straaange word that doesn't seem to fit the bill...NOSTALGIA.

Gehundseit.

That was Olivia's response to me (and the word nostalgia) last night, as we drove home from church in the evening, just her and me in a big bellowing diesel truck (my car needs new tires). She said,

"Mom?"

"HUH?!" I hollered back to her in the back seat. The diesel is unbelievably loud on the interstate.

"Mom? I have a funny feeling."

"Ok, sweetie. What is it?"

"Well, I'm not sure. It's like I'm thinking of when Sophie is not here. And I cling to you sometimes. Sometimes you take me to the beach and I love that. I like remembering those things."

Me: still not getting it. "You like when you have times with just Mom? Not Sophie?"

"No, I just have a feeling when I remember those things. It's a good one."

"Oh, ok!" I said, now getting it and LOVING the way she described it. "I totally know what you mean," I said. It has a really funny word that we can call that feeling. Want to know it?" She nodded excitedly....

"NOSTALGIA".

She scrunched up her nose. "Nostoooga?"

Me: "NO STALL JUH".

Liv: "NO STALL JUH".

Exactly. We laughed. And I loved that she felt that feeling too...evidence of a good life that she can remember well, and enjoy looking back on. Good times, bad times, whatever.

The promise of the next day. The thing the birds know that we sometimes forget. Kids get it too. And I just LOVE my kids.

I thank God for entrusting them to me, even when I seemed the most unlikely recipient of something so precious. And while I'm still imperfect in many many ways, I'm just so thankful he chose me.

The heavens declare you are God, and the mountains rejoice. The oceans cry hallelujah as we worship you Lord. For this is our song of love.