To whom I love

Today is picture day at Olivia's school. She wanted her hair half back with a piece left out on the side. She wanted her palm tree earrings and her tall black shoes. It's funny to me, that she has these requests now. Where I used to lay out all of her clothes and tell her what was cute and what was not, she decides now, mostly, on her own. She still asks me what I think though (although clearly a temporary event), and for her asking me still...I'm eternally grateful. She is independent, smart, and completely in tune with others' feelings. "She has integrity", her teacher said when the book orders came in yesterday at school. Her teacher said, "She walked up to me and was honest with me and told me she wasn't supposed to peek. She knew her Mom wanted to give those books to her as a present for Easter." (I'm just so proud). She joined the running club at school and when I forgot to pick her up from it yesterday, she stated honestly, "I forgive you." And she prayed last night like this: "Thank you for my Mom", and then giggled, "even though she forgets things like picking me up from running club, I know she loves me still." I'm so glad she gets that, especially when I arrive ten minutes late, flustered and pushing her hair back out of her face and asking if she's ok. "Of course I'm ok, Mommmm." But I'm not ok. I fear for the time she won't forgive me. But for now, she's got the most amazing grace for her momma, who tries so hard but sometimes fails. She offers me grace where I'd offer none to myself. I love her.

Sophie is a little person with a BIG imagination. She can spend hours upon hours setting up elaborate scenes with her stuffed animals. They have names, personalities, crises, fights, make-ups, babies, weddings....everything necessary for real life. She fishes in puddles in our driveway and makes special magic potion in my fire bowl on the deck. She is a puppy most of the time and calls all meat "muskrat" and dinner is "slop". Thanks. She collects bouncy balls and spent half the afternoon cleaning Rosie's bouncy balls off with the outside spicket. She picked out ET yesterday at the library and asked questions every 2-3 seconds, until we all screamed, "JUST WATCH AND YOU"LL FIND OUT!!!!!!!"........"OKKKK!!!!!!" she screamed back. She loves doing "homework" with Dad, and is starting to read on her own now. She copies words out of books onto her own paper. I find sheets covered in various words she chose out of her books. No order, no reason. She just likes them. She loves her sister. They laugh and giggle and cause lots and lots of trouble together. She requires there to be a dog in every movie she watches or she just won't participate. She is a peacemaker at preschool, working hard to resolve fights between friends. Her giggle and toothless smile are to die for. And I love her.

I have a baby in my belly that may be a he or a she. We find out today. The girls are dressed in their casual finest. I pick them up at noon, even though Olivia told me she normally eats lunch around 6:45 and I should pick her up after that because she prefers to eat first....and then we'll pick up Steve, and we'll go check out our soon to be brother or sister, son or daughter the III. I'll tell you what I know about this baby. This baby caused me trouble from the start. And if they say sickness is an indicator of hormone levels, and if hormone levels mean you have a strong baby in there, then this must be the strongest, most beautiful genius baby ever born. Right? Baby kicks at night, all night...I'm sure because some nights, I'm awake all night too. Baby thinks this is normal. There's just no real adjusting to a schedule like this, that baby and I keep. Baby says no to me eating red sauce of any kind and no to oatmeal and cream of wheat. I oblige to all except for a tiny bit of pizza sauce, because pizza is indispensable. This is a really fun pregnancy for me, I think, maybe because it is welcomed into a family well established, which means, I know how lucky he/she is....to have two sisters that are so excited to dress him/her up (as gender won't matter in this case), and teach him/her things that I'm sure I'd rather not be taught. But I also know those big sisters have baby's best interest in mind and they feel committed to helping out, taking care of the baby. But most of all, I'm excited because we have 4 people waiting in this house that already love this little one more than this baby can know. And I love this baby.