My current "baby"

This is my current "baby" of 5 years. I've been a bit distraught lately because of this baby, who's puzzled me by being grumpy more often than not, an easy to anger little girl. Her feelings are hurt in a glimpse. She can fly off the handle unexpectedly with anger I didn't know she was capable of. But why?

I ask her...is it all the one on one time with mom? Or the way you get a slushy at Target and Olivia doesn't because she's at school? Or is it how you play all day with your gazillion toys, have more scooby doo movies than I'm able to count? Is it the playdates with your friends? Is it the special snacks mom makes for you in the afternoon or the times we color and do puzzles?

Well, I'm puzzled. Perhaps its the new "no-nap" policy she's implemented. Maybe it's something else.

Last night I snuck down to the girls' room at 10:30 pm. I brushed her hair back as she breathed in heavy...sleepy lil baby. I kissed her forehead and whispered how much I loved her. I did the same for Olivia and tiptoed back up stairs. I laid in bed thinking about my littlest reindeer, how she'd be in school in a few short months, how in a few short months she won't be my littlest reindeer anymore. Why is she so sad? Have I not showed her how much mommy loves her? I wondered....

So I snuck back downstairs, scooped up my "baby", huffed and puffed as I carried an extra 50+ lbs upstairs, and collapsed back into bed with a big snuggle bug on my chest. I caught my breath (these kids are getting heavy), and I basked in the moment. She's my baby for now, and I love her so much. And I hope that it will come through to her heart, if it hasn't already, that I just couldn't love a person more than I love my babies.

I just pray she knows.