I dreamed a dream

I've become very thankful lately. Thankful of how I was raised, how I was loved, how I was taught, how I learned to work, how I learned to enjoy what life has to offer. Without belaboring my point with stories of the past 27 years of my life, I'll just share one thought.

I downloaded music from my favorite musical today, Les Miserables. As a kid, my mom made sure I went to see this musical, not once, but multiple times. She bought me an overpriced t-shirt once at one of the shows. I saved all my ticket stubs and the big thick programs they gave out at the door. We drove over two hours each time to Des Moines to see it. Sometimes it was with the school, sometimes not. This wasn't the only musical we frequented. I also had the pleasure of seeing Phantom of the Opera a few times too. And while I'm sure there was lots of eye rolling done by me and my 'tude, these shows were so good for me and they are some of my favorite times, looking back. Back then, I loved to sing and I loved to dream. And is there really anything more powerful than a young girls' dreams? No matter how full of drama and unrealistic they might have been. And I loved to feel misunderstood like any good teenage girl does so well. But still....

As I listen to this music, my favorite songs from each....it takes me back. With all the striving that I do to make sure my little girls don't feel pain, have you ever heard such a powerful song such as this that is not born from some kind of pain? Perhaps the pain of experiencing real things, which I realize, cannot be avoided....no matter how much a mother tries to protect her babies. And I've been thinking lately, that I'm very glad that I had those experiences, even the painful ones. Because there hasn't been a time that I've had such strong dreams, wishes, aspirations...than as a girl. As much as I wish a peaceful, uneventful, pain free life for my girls, I really don't. Not really. Because I wish that they'd dream big and wish big and hope for more. And you just don't get that from living inside rooms with padded walls. (note to self).

I thank my Mom for taking me to these things. I thank her for recognizing that I'd love them deep down. And I thank her for recognizing that the experiences we have when we are young may be the only ones of their kind your entire life. For there hasn't been a time that I've dreamed so big and felt so much as way back then. And I haven't been back to see Les Mis ever since. While I wouldn't trade the life I have now for an adolescent one, it just makes me thankful...that I got to do all those things back then. Now my life is full of new things, and they are great things, and I want to recognize them for what they are. Just as I reminisce about those days, I'm sure I will about these too, someday. Now is the only time my babies are babies. And that time is fleeting. Then there will be new things.

I am reminding myself, with this post, to open their baby blues to things they haven't dreamed of yet, just like my parents did for me....despite the eye rolling, they may just remember it happily, and thankfully, forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY-OXb38_r8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-IBJpEMzA