30 weeks

After persuasion, I finally broke down and agreed to ONE belly picture. Here it is. And with Sophie because she can't stand to not be in a picture. This is 30 weeks and counting. Happy baby! :)

Happiness was

Awww! It's a little girl with her little dog! Don't they look happy? This is happiness. New chalk on a warm spring day. 

Less than 5 minutes later...This is our cute dog Rosie. Rosie annihilated Sophie's brand new purple bouncy ball fresh out of the trunk. Sophie is screaming. Big fat tears of utter despair fall to the ground. We stumbled through the stages of grief. And here is what came next.

Bad dog.

Regroup. Look! Cute little girls playing with bubbles on a blanket! That looks so fun! 

Bubbles in the eye. 

Dang.

Happiness is sometimes, and happiness was... 

One hour

In this one hour that I have before I'm out the door, I should be cleaning my house, as we have a playdate at 12:30, and as I'm just coming off of working a long stretch of long night hours that make me so tired I do nothing for days afterward, my house sorely needs help. Bills need to be paid too. Laundry is scarce. No, actually...it's all located in a giant pile by the laundry room.

But I need coffee, and I need the internet, and here we are...as the minutes slip away. But I'm not caring much, because I tend to clean better when under extreme pressure. I clean better AND faster. So, all I need is a little incentive, some high pressure circumstances, and 45 minutes.

Done.

I also wanted to add that I can no longer reach my feet. I nearly stroked out trying to tie my shoes at work. Remind me to enjoy these last two months.

Being lazy for the Lord

I love this site.

http://stuffchristianslike.net/
No one does Christian satire like this guy.

I went to a school once, for a very short time, where God apparently spoke to everyone....every day. They'd tell me all about it. He spoke to them and told them what they should have for breakfast, what to do with their time, how to feel, think, breathe. I had a hard time with that, because God never told me a dang thing, not even what to have for breakfast. I had to make those hard decisions on my own. (Not that I often steered far away from the pastry/coffee shop down the block). But still....pity me please.

He didn't "say" much of anything to me at all. So, I wondered....was I just less of a Christian? Not devout enough? Not listening enough? Not trying hard enough?

Eventually I realized I just wasn't cut out for that cut out scene and I cut on out of that place. But it's a concept that still bothers me to this day. What if we're one of those unlucky people who can't hear God speak to them like the others? But we still pray, and we still ask for direction. Right? But then what? What do we do in that awkward mean time? Wait? Believe? Hope? Wish?......um...Act? Oooh, that last one makes the Christian nervous, perhaps. Act? Without God's specific direction? Eh....

This article somewhat addresses this issue and I'm glad, frankly. It gives me the boost of confidence I need to feel ok pursuing things I'm interested in, even though I've asked for specific direction from God because I want to make the right choices. I've been nervous to try too hard for something I want just in case it's something that God doesn't really want me to do or have. I've been waiting for this divine intervention that's going to change the course of my life forever, that gives me the road map to awesomeness planned out by the Big Guy himself. And in the meantime as I wait for the big booming voice....I've become lazy.

Remember the story about the guy in the flood? If not, I'll do a horrible job of summarizing it for you.

There's a guy, on his roof, in a flood, asking God to save him. And he sends away the boat saying "God will save me!" And he sends away the helicopter saying, "God will save me!" And then he dies in the flood? And when he gets to heaven, he's confused and asks God, why didn't you save me, God? And God replies, I sent you a boat and a helicopter!

Er...something like that.

Anyway.....

Fine line isn't it? Read this link. I think he hits the nail on the head....ooh, a cliche!

Being lazy for the Lord.

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Brownies and minivans

 I just made homemade cream cheese swirl brownies and I'm really proud, even though they don't appear very swirly. Because that was the first time I used egg whites instead of the whole egg, and completed a recipe that required many..MANY more steps than the box....(add egg, oil, water, stir, bake, eat).

And yesterday, we looked at a minivan. A real one. I drove it. The inside was spacious, the DVD player undeniably great.......I tried to suppress my excitement though, as it felt very anti-me, but hey...we've all got to embrace our inner mom voice "But they are just so practical. So convenient." Indeed it was. Indeed it was. 

MOM POWER!

Days like these

Because most days feel like these:


http://vimeo.com/11621957

 

I thought I'd just take time to honor this day.

There are some days that are just perfect....most of them are when I'm home for the day, with only my own chores to do, no errands to run, coffee in the morning, a lovely lunch with Sophie after preschool, and finally the house is clean. The laundry is almost done, but not quite because it never quite is. The breeze from outside is fantastically summer like, but not too hot, and I've hung clothes on the line (my favorite thing). I weeded the garden and raked up the helicopters that are raining down on everything from our big backyard tree and then quit when these contractions started. And I'm excited because my mom comes this weekend bearing tons of hastas and lillies to plant along the fence back there. 

Days like these remind me why it's worth it to work horrendous hours at work...but only 3 nights a week, leaving time for me to have an occasional Laura Ingles type of day, because I just love days like these. 

Excuse me while I go churn my own butter.

Just kidding. 

I may only have a few of these days left before the peanut is born. I suppose I have the right to enjoy them for now...right?

Hope you are enjoying your day too!

The Graduate

Sophie graduates from preschool tonight. Big Dawg. Here she is, with her big sis and some flying solo...all dressed up for her ceremony. Big girl. Can you believe it? I can't. I'll shed the tears in silence.

Honey

Sugar....buduh duh dun dun dun....awwww honey honey.....turns out I just love to eat it.....but I don't really need it!

I passed the glucose test with a fab 116 blood sugar. Yippee! Just a smidge closer to a healthy, complication free delivery. That's the hope anyway.

Where's my Mt. Dew?

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Sugar sugar

I love my baby. Hi baby! I love sugar. I love the first one waaayyyy more than the last.

But....I think I may have an addiction. Either that, or I'm genuinely diabetic, in which case I feel a little bit better regarding my need for sugar, but a bit more sad that I have the disease causing it. My vote is for the addiction. We'll stick with that for now.

Today marks another milestone in this pregnancy. So, happy glucose testing day!

And here's to the last pregnancy for this girl! Cheers! (I'm drinking my fruit punch glucose concoction as we speak). As it is my last pregnancy EVER, it's a fun reminder to help me enjoooyyyy things like this, for the last time. When Olivia heard this was my last pregnancy she responded:

"MOM! You never know! God may give you another baby."

Sigh....yes, but perhaps I won't have to birth it.
 

I dreamed a dream

I've become very thankful lately. Thankful of how I was raised, how I was loved, how I was taught, how I learned to work, how I learned to enjoy what life has to offer. Without belaboring my point with stories of the past 27 years of my life, I'll just share one thought.

I downloaded music from my favorite musical today, Les Miserables. As a kid, my mom made sure I went to see this musical, not once, but multiple times. She bought me an overpriced t-shirt once at one of the shows. I saved all my ticket stubs and the big thick programs they gave out at the door. We drove over two hours each time to Des Moines to see it. Sometimes it was with the school, sometimes not. This wasn't the only musical we frequented. I also had the pleasure of seeing Phantom of the Opera a few times too. And while I'm sure there was lots of eye rolling done by me and my 'tude, these shows were so good for me and they are some of my favorite times, looking back. Back then, I loved to sing and I loved to dream. And is there really anything more powerful than a young girls' dreams? No matter how full of drama and unrealistic they might have been. And I loved to feel misunderstood like any good teenage girl does so well. But still....

As I listen to this music, my favorite songs from each....it takes me back. With all the striving that I do to make sure my little girls don't feel pain, have you ever heard such a powerful song such as this that is not born from some kind of pain? Perhaps the pain of experiencing real things, which I realize, cannot be avoided....no matter how much a mother tries to protect her babies. And I've been thinking lately, that I'm very glad that I had those experiences, even the painful ones. Because there hasn't been a time that I've had such strong dreams, wishes, aspirations...than as a girl. As much as I wish a peaceful, uneventful, pain free life for my girls, I really don't. Not really. Because I wish that they'd dream big and wish big and hope for more. And you just don't get that from living inside rooms with padded walls. (note to self).

I thank my Mom for taking me to these things. I thank her for recognizing that I'd love them deep down. And I thank her for recognizing that the experiences we have when we are young may be the only ones of their kind your entire life. For there hasn't been a time that I've dreamed so big and felt so much as way back then. And I haven't been back to see Les Mis ever since. While I wouldn't trade the life I have now for an adolescent one, it just makes me thankful...that I got to do all those things back then. Now my life is full of new things, and they are great things, and I want to recognize them for what they are. Just as I reminisce about those days, I'm sure I will about these too, someday. Now is the only time my babies are babies. And that time is fleeting. Then there will be new things.

I am reminding myself, with this post, to open their baby blues to things they haven't dreamed of yet, just like my parents did for me....despite the eye rolling, they may just remember it happily, and thankfully, forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY-OXb38_r8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-IBJpEMzA

Tonight = hotdogs

This is Olivia this morning. She is ready to go on a fieldtrip that ALL kids are invited to! The first grade class is going to the Blank Park Zoo and the Iowa Historical Museum. Olivia did a project on bengal tigers with her dad, and presented it to the class on Monday. Today, they get to visit the animals they studied. Olivia is very excited. I think she's most excited that I let her have a Lunchable today. One meal of non-food can't hurt right? I added a bag of fruit though so it wasn't a complete loss. 

Yesterday was the "good character" trip that Olivia was disqualified from. I picked up Olivia around 12:30 from school. She wanted to pick out a movie from the REDbox, which is really fun for us because we just got one in Polk City. We embrace our hickness. Then we watched the movie together, cuddled on the chair, ate popcorn, painted pictures, played outside, and ended the afternoon with a slushie. Sophie did a great job of helping to celebrate her sister. She didn't throw a fit when she didn't get to pick the movie. She kept encouraging Olivia to choose what she wanted to do....they were an adorable pair! It solidified in my mind what I already knew: I'm so proud of them, and their good character. 

This one is Soph and me, on our way out to the mall. We reluctantly bought a maternity dress, spent $40 on TWO items for baby at BabyGap (I'm never going back...I can't control myself there), and ended the trip by eating at Jimmy John's. Probably could've gotten by sharing a sammy, as we dropped the majority of each sandwich off at dad's work anyway. 

Today is a beautiful sunny day after a long stretch of rainy ones. It's Friday, and we have big plans tonight: camping!!! Steve picked up the TERRY last night and she's nearly all packed up. I have to say, I'm excited to sit in my red chair by the campfire....and I love hotdogs. SCORE!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Uh huh

I slept all day today. And when I woke up, I wanted some tuna and crackers and pickles. Done. I turned on the TV. Dr. Phil was too disturbing....dog fighting and animal abuse (depressssssing). So I flipped the channel.

Any better?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do3otUSbTpA
Her logic is undeniable. NOT.

Not jokes...they just never go out of style.

I may be coming up on another birthday, but WHAT is the world coming to?!

UGH.

Define Motherhood

I first saw this here:

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/05/mother.html

I love this concept, because as wordy as I am, sometimes, you just don't need words. 

But you didn't think it was going to be that easy for me did you? :) While I was working to create my own motherhood "definition" in picture, I realized how few of the pictures I'm actually in. At first, I was a little sad. But then I realized that there is always a person behind the camera, and as I looked at all the pictures of my girls, playing, laughing, screaming, running, swimming, posing, whatever they do....there's so much happiness there. And I'm proud to be just one of the people behind it all. 

I also realized the point where I got my first digital camera! You won't find any newborn baby pics here. :) But here are some of the ones I do have.

If you are a mother too, be proud of the person behind the camera..(that's you), and look for the joy you've brought your babies in your pics.

Happy Mother's Day!

Sigh

I think I'm ready for the school year to be over. I think I'm ready for someone to volunteer to home school my kid....it's most certainly not me. :) I just love my babies so much. Is parenthood going to be this torturous throughout? Sigh...not sure I'm up for that. However, I hear there is hope for this little boy I'm carrying. I hear boys are easier. RIGHT?!!!! Agree with me, no matter what you think. Thanks. 

This morning, I hit send on an email I've been laboring over. They asked me what I thought would be best for Olivia. So, I worked on a response. I didn't want it to sound like I was mad Olivia couldn't go on the trip (because I seriously do not care. We live a mile away from Big Creek and we go all the time). I wanted it to say what I feel about the trip as a whole and what I think it can do to a little heart. And most of all, my disappointment that this was ok with the school for the second time this year.

So, I've responded.

Here is what I said...and whether or not it makes any difference at all, I've tried my best, and that is what I'm working hard to teach Olivia too. 

Thank you for talking with the committee. I think my point is being lost in translation though. I think the most detrimental part of this whole thing is that the school plans on separating the "good" from the "bad" kids. That is the part I find appalling..not the fact that they have to attend rules school. What about the kids with true behavior problems? Are they included in this mix too? I just find this whole thing incredibly sad. "Bad" or "good", kids are kids and they have hearts and spirits and will remember being separated into groups and alienated from their peers, for some, for the second time this year. Pretty soon, they'll just act that way because that's what we told them they were. That's what their peers will see them as. That's how they'll see themselves.

 

No matter what, I won't allow Olivia to be separated into a poor character group on that day. I was hoping the other kids wouldn't have to endure it either. They were given no opportunity to earn back their points. They were given no chance to show that they care. They are only being punished for their mistakes. Not only that, but then we're going to define them by their mistakes and put them in a special group.

 

If a behavior is bad enough to be punished, it should be done on the spot. Not calculated over months of time and the kids that have 96% good character can go on a trip. How could that possibly make sense to a kid? 

 

I also think that putting all their hopes in one trip was a poor idea. How about teaching them that good behavior and good character is needed to be successful in the world, not to win or lose a prize?

 

These kids aren't bad, their just not mature. They know things are wrong, they just have impulse control problems. The school is asking them to do a very adult task, looking at all the consequences of their behavior and assessing the best course of action and then having the self control to do the right thing. This trait is not complete in a child until their early 20's. In addition, they've added a point system that cannot possibly make sense to a 7 year old mind, because it doesn't even make sense to mine. So why are we punishing them for trying and failing? In the real world, we're given the opportunity to apologize for our mistakes and work hard to make it right. At school, their being taught that mistakes are final, and they make you bad.

 

Unless all the kids go to Big Creek, Olivia won't be there that day even if she keeps her last point. We talk about good behavior every morning before school. I also tell her I'm proud of her and I love her every morning. I tell her that no matter what, I will be proud if she has tried her best. If her behavior has been any better this week than last, it's because I took the pressure off of her heart, and encouraged her to just try her best. High stakes testing doesn't work for kids, especially for high energy/easily frustrated ones. It has the opposite result...they freak out, they act out, they are more frustrated at their failures and they quit trying. I'm sure that is not the goal of this school.

 

Character could still be taught if they all went to Big Creek. They could spend the first half an hour as a group, picking up trash along the beach and trails. Then we could have a chat about what it means to have good character and why it's important in this world. Then they could join their peers for the last half on the playground and be kids! At least that way, they've earned their way with a good deed for the community, talked about what it means to have good character, and then are rewarded not only for just "earning" something, but for trying so hard.

 

Failure isn't a permanent thing and it does not define a child. 

 

Swagger wagon

As we prepare for our new arrival the first week of August, we've been researching some vehicles that may more appropriately accommodate our growing family. Steve's been sending me multiple options, but one in particular caught my eye.

http://blogs.cars.com/kickingtires/2010/05/toyota-siennas-swagger-wagon-music-video.html

Who says the minivan can't be gangster?